By now every "voting" Nigerian would have picked his poison.
*Enough Said*
Xoxo.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Once Upon A Dream
Sleeping beauty is by far my all time favourite cartoon; actually it’s my favourite film or thing to watch, closely followed by love actually, and Shakespeare in love. I can watch Sleeping Beauty over and over and over again, but unfortunately I don’t own it anymore. Disney has this thing where they discontinue all their classics for 7 years and then release them again for a year, every 7th year I seem to miss it. (Another Easter present suggestion – I will be indebted to you forever).
The story is simple; Princess Aurora was cursed by the wicked fairy – on her 16th birthday she will prick her finger (“chuck” her finger if you like) on a spinning wheel and die, one of the good fairy’s then reverses it and says she will fall into a deep sleep until she is awaken by true loves kiss. Nevertheless Aurora is sent to live in the woods with her 3 fairy god mothers till she is 16 so as to protect her from falling prey to the evil fairy’s curse. Dancing in the woods one day she meets prince charming, the person she has dreamed about forever, and immediately falls in love with him:
“I know you
I walked with you once upon a dream,
I know you
The gleam in your eye is so familiar a gleam,
Yes, I know it’s true
That visions are seldom what they seem,
But I know you; I know what you’ll do,
You’ll love me at once
The way you did ONCE UPON A DREAM”
Yada yada yada, she pricks her finger falls into a deep sleep, prince charming eventually finds her, and gives her true loves kiss, they have a grand wedding and THE END, we hear nothing about the marriage.
This film must be the bible’s equivalent to a lot of Nigerian women. Everybody sha wants to marry prince charming, have a show stopping, grand wedding, the one that they have dreamed of, turtle doves released at “I do”, pews full of important people, all jealous eyes on the groom, all glammed up in their Ellie Saab dress, or in their $5000 per yard lace that they flew to Dubai to hand pick, face painted and eyelashes appended by nobody but Banke Mashida, the party to top all parties will follow, champagne pouring out of every nook and cranny, DJ on point, crowds dancing all night, 1000 Naira notes being sprayed, and the recent vogue is to have a retired American artiste close the night singing some mid-nineties ballad. Or a destination wedding in a garden somewhere, strict crowd control, everyone back home will be waiting to see the exclusive pictures on Bella Naija. But as my friend L.O pointed out, everyone is dreaming about the grand wedding, but she would rather think about the day after. When all your friends leave, your parents kiss you good bye, your siblings do the same, you are alone with this ‘Prince’ hopefully for the rest of your life. For all we know Prince Charming (Philip), may have been a wife beating, drunkaholic, who got sacked from his job, and was collecting the dole. We didn’t need to know, because in the film after the wedding it was THE END, in real life it’s just the BEGINING.
We all dream, but adrift in our foolish dreams, we seem to forget that at some point we will have to wake up, smell the coffee, live with the reality that our dreams led us to (LITERALLY). 4ACES recently posted something about having to edit our ‘lists’, they asked: is this a sign of maturity or is it just settling. I don’t think we have to change our dreams, but we have to also dream about the ever after, and decide what we are ready to compromise. It isn’t settling, but rather its maturity, and above all it is REALISTIC.
Sleeping Beauty will forever be one of my favourite things to watch, but every little girls trouble starts the moment she believes it is an Aurora and Prince Charming story she must have, or nothing.
Xoxo.
Friday, April 8, 2011
The luxury of a negative thought...
I don’t know if I should call it a yearning for more, or what, but I often allow myself the luxury of discontent, and general anger in a desire for MORE. Albeit that I don’t have an unfortunate life in any way, shape or form, relatively quite the opposite. It bemuses me that people in really quite destitute and almost hopeless situations are never ever, negative, or unhappy, they have such a great hopeful outlook on life.
I mentioned before that I sometimes (far fewer than I should / would like to) go out with the “Changing Our World Foundation” supporting them in the great work that they do in Obalande, and one thing I have noticed is that these people are extremely happy, and content. It will take a long time to forget the first home that I went into, to give out food, It was the home of an old guy, it was just one room, It contained his bed at the far end, An ‘antique’ sofa in the middle, a coffee table, and on the opposite end a stove with kitchen utensils, dotted around the one (very small room) were the sum total of his belongings. Yet he was the happiest old man ever. Speaking to him, and just watching his body language, he was CONTENT.
It begs the question, is negativity and discontent a luxury?
(Don’t say it, Cheesy Picture, I know)
Xoxo.
I mentioned before that I sometimes (far fewer than I should / would like to) go out with the “Changing Our World Foundation” supporting them in the great work that they do in Obalande, and one thing I have noticed is that these people are extremely happy, and content. It will take a long time to forget the first home that I went into, to give out food, It was the home of an old guy, it was just one room, It contained his bed at the far end, An ‘antique’ sofa in the middle, a coffee table, and on the opposite end a stove with kitchen utensils, dotted around the one (very small room) were the sum total of his belongings. Yet he was the happiest old man ever. Speaking to him, and just watching his body language, he was CONTENT.
It begs the question, is negativity and discontent a luxury?
(Don’t say it, Cheesy Picture, I know)
Xoxo.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
First From The Back
Has the entire world left Nigeria behind? I was tempted to title the blog “Africa is lagging”. But after a short conversation with a colleague on a project in Kenya this morning I quickly realised that while Africa is behind its peers on the global front, Nigeria is behind even its peers in Africa, but unfortunately the average Nigerian still believes that we are ahead.
Though its population and land mass is nothing in comparison to what we Nigerians boast of, Zambia has an up and running metro system; Niger and Ghana our neighbours have a power supply that is nearly never interrupted, though we are in the top 10 oil and gas producing countries globally, we don’t; Nigeria with the second largest economy in Sub Saharan Africa cannot compare to Kenya in terms of tourism; though a large number of Nigerian students graduate from the top business schools in the world (I personally know about 10 -15 people that will graduate from Wharton, HBS, INSEAD, Kellog, Fuqua this year) we cannot claim to have a transparent banking system, Nigerian doctors are consulted globally for their unique skill, yet women die daily in childbirth; We can boast of top class Engineers yet our roads rival those of countries that have recently come out of civil wars; and though we have brilliant programmers (at least 60% of the Nigerian educated people I have met over the last few years studied computer science) yet last weekend when I ‘voted’ for the first time in Nigeria I had to thumbprint on a piece of paper.
Nigeria right now is nothing short of an embarrassment, and that is to put it mildly. This weekend after my God mother called me to tell me she was waiting for me at our local polling station, I jumped out of bed and drove down. Apparently as I got there, accreditation was about to finish. Up until this point I truly did not know what I expected of the electoral process, alas I reached the front of the queue only for my card to be checked against a list, my finger marked with a felt tip pen, then the corper in charge tells me “ehnnnn, go and wait, we will soon begin” ... long story short, I waited in the scorching sun for God alone knows how long, was counted, queued, and was finally given a white piece of paper with a couple of logos printed on it (did I know which candidate was running under what party? Nope, were all the parties represented? Nope) at this point I was already feeling dizzy, but I sha managed to “press my hand” somewhere before in typical aje-butter fashion, fainted with a bout of sun stroke or whatever. It turns out that the whole process was for nothing, as the elections were cancelled not long after my dramatic performance.
From the sunstroke to the felt tip pen, to the pieces of paper apparently printed in Japan, this epitomises Nigeria. We have the resources (we spend 80 something billion on some voting machines), but we do not use them; We do not aim at improving the social and environmental aspects of our country (why should we be voting in the sun? Shouldn’t there be local government offices for this, I don’t think I ever voted in the streets in England), We don’t care much for internal control (how can a felt tip pen from goodies be what we use to accredit voters – next week I shall buy my own and accredit myself before I go, to reduce my waiting time). People may argue that the inefficiencies were built in to aid rigging, or what not, the issue is that we accept it, because year after year we use this primitive voting system without complain, and what’s more this mentality / acceptance of substandard is prevalent across every industry in Nigeria.
I have recently had the privilege of observing what I will call the “grass roots”, I may have been quite disconcerted by this at first (still am in all truth) but it has proved to be one of the most useful experiences (In Nigeria at least)because I have seen the heart of Lagos / Nigeria’s economy. Drifted off topic a bit, but what I am saying here is that in observing the way business is conducted, and work is done, it is so farrrrrrrr below global, and even African standards, and this sort of upsets me because Nigerians worldwide are implementing systems, documenting processes, innovating industries, yet back home our economy is suffering with archaic systems, processes, and governance.
Nigeria may be first at something, but it most certainly isn’t good governance, innovation, basic social welfare, good education, good transportation, and good healthcare systems. No, we are first at epically failing to keep up with the rest of the world. It will make me so happy when I see Nigerians using their skills and talents to transform Nigeria, as opposed to being consumed by the system, and conforming to the status quo. Having said that we can change things, shake them up, bring Nigeria to the 21st century, but things will go back to the same old, same old, because we have a culture of corruption, and we are adverse to change, however progressive. That’s a whole other topic in itself.
Xoxo.
Though its population and land mass is nothing in comparison to what we Nigerians boast of, Zambia has an up and running metro system; Niger and Ghana our neighbours have a power supply that is nearly never interrupted, though we are in the top 10 oil and gas producing countries globally, we don’t; Nigeria with the second largest economy in Sub Saharan Africa cannot compare to Kenya in terms of tourism; though a large number of Nigerian students graduate from the top business schools in the world (I personally know about 10 -15 people that will graduate from Wharton, HBS, INSEAD, Kellog, Fuqua this year) we cannot claim to have a transparent banking system, Nigerian doctors are consulted globally for their unique skill, yet women die daily in childbirth; We can boast of top class Engineers yet our roads rival those of countries that have recently come out of civil wars; and though we have brilliant programmers (at least 60% of the Nigerian educated people I have met over the last few years studied computer science) yet last weekend when I ‘voted’ for the first time in Nigeria I had to thumbprint on a piece of paper.
Nigeria right now is nothing short of an embarrassment, and that is to put it mildly. This weekend after my God mother called me to tell me she was waiting for me at our local polling station, I jumped out of bed and drove down. Apparently as I got there, accreditation was about to finish. Up until this point I truly did not know what I expected of the electoral process, alas I reached the front of the queue only for my card to be checked against a list, my finger marked with a felt tip pen, then the corper in charge tells me “ehnnnn, go and wait, we will soon begin” ... long story short, I waited in the scorching sun for God alone knows how long, was counted, queued, and was finally given a white piece of paper with a couple of logos printed on it (did I know which candidate was running under what party? Nope, were all the parties represented? Nope) at this point I was already feeling dizzy, but I sha managed to “press my hand” somewhere before in typical aje-butter fashion, fainted with a bout of sun stroke or whatever. It turns out that the whole process was for nothing, as the elections were cancelled not long after my dramatic performance.
From the sunstroke to the felt tip pen, to the pieces of paper apparently printed in Japan, this epitomises Nigeria. We have the resources (we spend 80 something billion on some voting machines), but we do not use them; We do not aim at improving the social and environmental aspects of our country (why should we be voting in the sun? Shouldn’t there be local government offices for this, I don’t think I ever voted in the streets in England), We don’t care much for internal control (how can a felt tip pen from goodies be what we use to accredit voters – next week I shall buy my own and accredit myself before I go, to reduce my waiting time). People may argue that the inefficiencies were built in to aid rigging, or what not, the issue is that we accept it, because year after year we use this primitive voting system without complain, and what’s more this mentality / acceptance of substandard is prevalent across every industry in Nigeria.
I have recently had the privilege of observing what I will call the “grass roots”, I may have been quite disconcerted by this at first (still am in all truth) but it has proved to be one of the most useful experiences (In Nigeria at least)because I have seen the heart of Lagos / Nigeria’s economy. Drifted off topic a bit, but what I am saying here is that in observing the way business is conducted, and work is done, it is so farrrrrrrr below global, and even African standards, and this sort of upsets me because Nigerians worldwide are implementing systems, documenting processes, innovating industries, yet back home our economy is suffering with archaic systems, processes, and governance.
Nigeria may be first at something, but it most certainly isn’t good governance, innovation, basic social welfare, good education, good transportation, and good healthcare systems. No, we are first at epically failing to keep up with the rest of the world. It will make me so happy when I see Nigerians using their skills and talents to transform Nigeria, as opposed to being consumed by the system, and conforming to the status quo. Having said that we can change things, shake them up, bring Nigeria to the 21st century, but things will go back to the same old, same old, because we have a culture of corruption, and we are adverse to change, however progressive. That’s a whole other topic in itself.
Xoxo.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Deo Dante Dedi
For the old Carthusian’s reading, which I hope is quite a few; the title will be very familiar, It was our school motto: “Deo Dante Dedi” – “Because God has given, I give”. Up until very recently I can’t say I paid very much attention to it. It was just a bunch of words that were under a logo on the front cover of the white book, and blue book (don’t remember if it was blue or pink, and I know Sol is gonna hurl abuse at me if it was pink ... I await your bb). But the absence of giving in Nigeria constantly reminds me of this very powerful motto.
Don’t get me wrong Nigerians are quite generous within their families. For some reason it is absolutely normal for an Uncle to bankroll his entire extended family, put clothes on their backs, food on their tables and pay for their education (It’s a cultural thing I hear). But when it comes to giving to others that they don’t know at all in unfortunate situations, we quite frankly don’t do enough of it. Not saying we don’t do it at all, we just don’t do it enough. Funnily enough, at the moment I am reading a book which suggests that financial aid is contributing to Africa’s situation, I agree it is better to give a man a fishing rod as opposed to a fish. But I am not talking just about giving in the financial sense; I am talking about giving of yourself, your time, your emotions, as well as your substance.
I believe that every skill we have, and all the finances we have were given to us (by God )for a reason, and that it far supersedes just a satisfaction of our own personal needs and desires, but it is meant to help others that need that skill, or will benefit from a financial donation. If you are a great singer, people listening to your music will be touched by it, that in itself is giving, but you can also set up a weekend singing group in a poor neighbourhood where an option of recreation may stop a decision to go and rob a more affluent neighbourhood. If you are an Entrepreneur that has built your business from the ground up, you can mentor young people with potential to be even better than you are. There are always opportunities to give even if it is reading to orphans once a week, giving hygiene talks to your local community, counselling young rape victims, the list is endless.
Because God has given to me in the many talents, privileges, and even in the weaknesses and setbacks, I shall endeavour to give back to others that can learn from my mistakes, through my talents, and because of the privileges I enjoy. I enjoin everyone to do the little they can, because it goes a long way. A life lived with this principle at the forefront of it will nearly always be a more powerful and fulfilling life than one that is primarily focused on its own selfish desires. I have been out with the “Changing our world Foundation” in the work they are doing in the Obalande community, and the time spent just to put a smile on someone’s face and give them hope is well worth it.
Xoxo.
Don’t get me wrong Nigerians are quite generous within their families. For some reason it is absolutely normal for an Uncle to bankroll his entire extended family, put clothes on their backs, food on their tables and pay for their education (It’s a cultural thing I hear). But when it comes to giving to others that they don’t know at all in unfortunate situations, we quite frankly don’t do enough of it. Not saying we don’t do it at all, we just don’t do it enough. Funnily enough, at the moment I am reading a book which suggests that financial aid is contributing to Africa’s situation, I agree it is better to give a man a fishing rod as opposed to a fish. But I am not talking just about giving in the financial sense; I am talking about giving of yourself, your time, your emotions, as well as your substance.
I believe that every skill we have, and all the finances we have were given to us (by God )for a reason, and that it far supersedes just a satisfaction of our own personal needs and desires, but it is meant to help others that need that skill, or will benefit from a financial donation. If you are a great singer, people listening to your music will be touched by it, that in itself is giving, but you can also set up a weekend singing group in a poor neighbourhood where an option of recreation may stop a decision to go and rob a more affluent neighbourhood. If you are an Entrepreneur that has built your business from the ground up, you can mentor young people with potential to be even better than you are. There are always opportunities to give even if it is reading to orphans once a week, giving hygiene talks to your local community, counselling young rape victims, the list is endless.
Because God has given to me in the many talents, privileges, and even in the weaknesses and setbacks, I shall endeavour to give back to others that can learn from my mistakes, through my talents, and because of the privileges I enjoy. I enjoin everyone to do the little they can, because it goes a long way. A life lived with this principle at the forefront of it will nearly always be a more powerful and fulfilling life than one that is primarily focused on its own selfish desires. I have been out with the “Changing our world Foundation” in the work they are doing in the Obalande community, and the time spent just to put a smile on someone’s face and give them hope is well worth it.
Xoxo.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
OUR culture
After spending the best part of the last week writing one post to no avail, I decided to give up and write about something else. Please accept this as an apology for my recent silence.
My advance apologies to the Igbo’s, Hausa’s, and other of the many different tribes and ethnic groups we have in Nigeria reading this post if I cannot do this topic justice with my very limited understanding of your cultures. The culture I have the most exposure to is the Yoruba one and most of my ideas about the Nigerian culture are directly linked to that.
Unfortunately (it really does bleed my heart) I never had the opportunity to do a Nigerian history or Nigerian geography lesson, let alone learn any of the different languages or cultures that we as Nigerians can boast of. I try my hardest to read as much as I can and catch up on all the lost lessons, field trips etc. All history books, videos, documentaries etc are welcome as Easter presents.
When I moved to Lagos, it didn’t take longer than a week for my knees to hit the dust. After being cautioned that a kiss on the cheek, and a good afternoon or good morning depending on the time of day will not suffice because “awa Yoruba, a se be”, it’s just not done. Before long I was “kunle-ing” for everyone just to avoid being told that I had no manners. I am sure my mother is cringing reading this, so just to calm her nerves I should point out that she did teach me these things, of course I knew I had to curtsey to older people, just not to every Tom, Dick and Harry with a speck of grey hair and an exaggerated opinion of themselves as an ‘elder’, ‘superior’ to you. As alien as ‘curtseying’ was to me, I have since discovered far more peculiar things. To mention but a few:
• People are “honouring you” by showing up uninvited to your home fully expecting to be entertained, fed, and to take awoof to their family members that couldn’t make the trip
• It’s apparently not weird for people to wake up in the morning and decide that they are gonna send you a bag full of oranges or apples or some other fruit, for no reason. I don’t eat those things. I watched snow white and the seven dwarfs, I cannot rationalise the sending of fruits.
• Buying a wedding gift for the bride and groom is unnecessary, instead get a ton of plastic buckets and put stickers on it that say “Sumbo hooks Toks” (or whoever hooks whoever as the case may be) to give out to wedding guests who may not actually know who the bride and groom are, but they came for the star and puff puff.
• Aso-ebi. I understand this one somehow but at the same time I don’t understand it. Why must everyone wear uniform to display allegiance and loyalty to the people doing the party (yes yorubas wear aso ebi for everything – wedding, birthday, funeral, naming ceremony, you name it). It is an EPIC waste of money. After 2.5 years I already have a whole section of my wardrobe full of buba and iro, funny dresses, in god-awful materials that I will never wear again, and I dare you to find someone more selective than me in the events I attend.
• My mum always says to me “If you don’t go to theirs they won’t come to yours”.... there is an extremely strong sense of community. If your half brothers, wife’s cousin’s, step son is doing a house dedication in Taraba state (you have to go by road, and there are no hotels so you have to kip in the car), you had better be there for fear that when you are washing your first Pajero he may not attend. And when you go, you must go hard, with your plastic buckets personalised for the event in your Sunday best, wedding gele ... I have an aunt (RS) that says even if the celebrant doesn’t want to dress well, she will still go looking her best, regardless of whether she is out-dressing them.
• Over the top curtsey. My brothers can attest to this, but if my mum is calling someone say to ask for the name of a shop or something. She will first “greet” the person. E ka le, Eku ata ro de le, eku joko, eku dide, eku **fill in the blanks**. Everything she can greet them for doing that day she will first do that for 30 mins before she finally lands with her question. All I can say is: I wish I was MTN if a 2 second phone call takes 35 minutes.
• Etc etc
Though I have really just painted the Yoruba culture in a negative light, I don’t think it is, It’s weird granted, but the point I’m making is that it’s different. Much as I expect that there are certain weird things that Igbo people do, that Itshekiri people do, that Calabar people do, and they are very different from the way things are done in the west. It is extremely sad and unfortunate that as Nigerians we are becoming less appreciative of the wealth of culture and tradition that we have. We do not document it, we don’t celebrate it, and an increasing number of people don’t pass it on to their kids.
As I mentioned earlier my education even while I lived in Nigeria was British through and through, I have (had) no idea about what makes our culture unique and worthy of our pride, and there are many more like me. Fortunately my eves dropping was worthwhile and I understand and when in the right environment I can speak Yoruba but my brothers don’t, I have many cousins and family friends who don’t and this is completely unacceptable. When the videos of the American student in Ibadan learning to speak Yoruba were doing the rounds, many people (Yoruba people) couldn’t watch the sequels because they did not have subtitles. This typifies the Nigerian situation, It is always a foreigner that is keen to learn, document, popularise what is ours. I do not blame the ‘youngsters’, I blame those that never passed it onto them. I challenge you to find an Indian or Chinese person that can’t speak their language even if they have never been to their countries; they and their forefathers are proud of their heritage and fought to keep it alive.
I think until we know our culture, love our culture all our efforts to preserve or better what we call Nigeria are pointless, because we don’t know what we are fighting to keep alive.
xoxo.
My advance apologies to the Igbo’s, Hausa’s, and other of the many different tribes and ethnic groups we have in Nigeria reading this post if I cannot do this topic justice with my very limited understanding of your cultures. The culture I have the most exposure to is the Yoruba one and most of my ideas about the Nigerian culture are directly linked to that.
Unfortunately (it really does bleed my heart) I never had the opportunity to do a Nigerian history or Nigerian geography lesson, let alone learn any of the different languages or cultures that we as Nigerians can boast of. I try my hardest to read as much as I can and catch up on all the lost lessons, field trips etc. All history books, videos, documentaries etc are welcome as Easter presents.
When I moved to Lagos, it didn’t take longer than a week for my knees to hit the dust. After being cautioned that a kiss on the cheek, and a good afternoon or good morning depending on the time of day will not suffice because “awa Yoruba, a se be”, it’s just not done. Before long I was “kunle-ing” for everyone just to avoid being told that I had no manners. I am sure my mother is cringing reading this, so just to calm her nerves I should point out that she did teach me these things, of course I knew I had to curtsey to older people, just not to every Tom, Dick and Harry with a speck of grey hair and an exaggerated opinion of themselves as an ‘elder’, ‘superior’ to you. As alien as ‘curtseying’ was to me, I have since discovered far more peculiar things. To mention but a few:
• People are “honouring you” by showing up uninvited to your home fully expecting to be entertained, fed, and to take awoof to their family members that couldn’t make the trip
• It’s apparently not weird for people to wake up in the morning and decide that they are gonna send you a bag full of oranges or apples or some other fruit, for no reason. I don’t eat those things. I watched snow white and the seven dwarfs, I cannot rationalise the sending of fruits.
• Buying a wedding gift for the bride and groom is unnecessary, instead get a ton of plastic buckets and put stickers on it that say “Sumbo hooks Toks” (or whoever hooks whoever as the case may be) to give out to wedding guests who may not actually know who the bride and groom are, but they came for the star and puff puff.
• Aso-ebi. I understand this one somehow but at the same time I don’t understand it. Why must everyone wear uniform to display allegiance and loyalty to the people doing the party (yes yorubas wear aso ebi for everything – wedding, birthday, funeral, naming ceremony, you name it). It is an EPIC waste of money. After 2.5 years I already have a whole section of my wardrobe full of buba and iro, funny dresses, in god-awful materials that I will never wear again, and I dare you to find someone more selective than me in the events I attend.
• My mum always says to me “If you don’t go to theirs they won’t come to yours”.... there is an extremely strong sense of community. If your half brothers, wife’s cousin’s, step son is doing a house dedication in Taraba state (you have to go by road, and there are no hotels so you have to kip in the car), you had better be there for fear that when you are washing your first Pajero he may not attend. And when you go, you must go hard, with your plastic buckets personalised for the event in your Sunday best, wedding gele ... I have an aunt (RS) that says even if the celebrant doesn’t want to dress well, she will still go looking her best, regardless of whether she is out-dressing them.
• Over the top curtsey. My brothers can attest to this, but if my mum is calling someone say to ask for the name of a shop or something. She will first “greet” the person. E ka le, Eku ata ro de le, eku joko, eku dide, eku **fill in the blanks**. Everything she can greet them for doing that day she will first do that for 30 mins before she finally lands with her question. All I can say is: I wish I was MTN if a 2 second phone call takes 35 minutes.
• Etc etc
Though I have really just painted the Yoruba culture in a negative light, I don’t think it is, It’s weird granted, but the point I’m making is that it’s different. Much as I expect that there are certain weird things that Igbo people do, that Itshekiri people do, that Calabar people do, and they are very different from the way things are done in the west. It is extremely sad and unfortunate that as Nigerians we are becoming less appreciative of the wealth of culture and tradition that we have. We do not document it, we don’t celebrate it, and an increasing number of people don’t pass it on to their kids.
As I mentioned earlier my education even while I lived in Nigeria was British through and through, I have (had) no idea about what makes our culture unique and worthy of our pride, and there are many more like me. Fortunately my eves dropping was worthwhile and I understand and when in the right environment I can speak Yoruba but my brothers don’t, I have many cousins and family friends who don’t and this is completely unacceptable. When the videos of the American student in Ibadan learning to speak Yoruba were doing the rounds, many people (Yoruba people) couldn’t watch the sequels because they did not have subtitles. This typifies the Nigerian situation, It is always a foreigner that is keen to learn, document, popularise what is ours. I do not blame the ‘youngsters’, I blame those that never passed it onto them. I challenge you to find an Indian or Chinese person that can’t speak their language even if they have never been to their countries; they and their forefathers are proud of their heritage and fought to keep it alive.
I think until we know our culture, love our culture all our efforts to preserve or better what we call Nigeria are pointless, because we don’t know what we are fighting to keep alive.
xoxo.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
The Heart of Man
The good book says, and I am not entirely sure where, that “The heart of man is desperately wicked”. When my brother asked me to give him my opinion on an essay he had to write for some psychology class he opted to take at uni, I think the title was “all human acts are driven by selfish desire” that was the first thing that popped into my head. The heart of man is desperately wicked.
So of course after a lot of deliberation, I responded to him: yep, I totally agree, most of the things we do as humans is to satisfy our selfish desires, the things we want, the things we want to happen, because as I pointed out we were all created that way, with wicked and selfish desires. Except of course we make a conscious effort not to be. I’m going to back pedal a bit here, and correct myself, or justify myself: our natural inclination is to act selfishly, but we can decide to take a stand and do what is out of character, nice, kind, sefless.
Everytime I drive in Lagos, I’m in the car alone, I see the worst form / version of me possible. I have road rage, I am always screaming at people that can’t hear me, pedestrians that cross the road as though they left their house in the morning and vowed to themselves not to return alive, okadas that believe they are immortal or are in a rush hour sequel and drive anyhow, lorry drivers that are already dead, so they don’t care what happens to other road users. I act crazzzzy. Sometimes I actually stop all the screaming and think to myself, what is wrong with you. Why do I behave this way? I think that a Lagos road at rush hour is the best way to understand the average Nigerian person, and the behaviour of that average Nigerian person boils my blood to the point of explosion.
The Average Nigerian is SELFISH; the average Nigerian has a hard heart; and the average Nigerian is bitter about something - be it the fact he has to do that drive, or the nasty place of work that he is driving to, or even the car he has to drive. Just the way people give you death stares when you are trying to merge into their lanes on that Alfred Rewane bridge or the way they hurl abuse at you when you cut in front of them even when you have the right of way. People are just selfish, angry, bitter, and WICKED. It just makes me wonder if they are that way because they are a product of their environment, or is the environment, Lagos, Nigeria, the way it is because we have these kinds of people in it. It’s one of those: “what came first the egg or the chicken” debates.
What came first the selfish Nigerian, or the downtrodden Nigeria? It goes around in circles, because people don’t have the bare necessities in life, things that are the duty of their country to provide its citizens we breed more and more selfish people that have to provide those things for themselves, but in the same vein it took a selfish person or a selfish group of people for the country to fall to the depths that it is at currently. Whichever came first, the attitude people have stinks, and the enabling social and economic environment stinks too.
Dipo O said after reading some of these posts that I seem to have an up one day and down one day opinion of Lagos. This is verrrrrrrrry true; my relationship with Lagos is completely schizophrenic. Sometimes I love it, and other times I just want to disappear, the people do my head in, and the inefficiencies grind on my last nerve. So it may be hard, and though it is in my base nature to be selfish, and wicked, and think only of myself, today I will make MORE of a conscious effort to do what is for the greater good, not just what is for my good. I hope everybody else will take a leaf from my book, because the truth is that just as every journey to greatness takes just one step, the journey to changing the selfish mindset of ‘the Nigerian’ just takes individuals making a conscious effort to be selfless.
Xoxo.
So of course after a lot of deliberation, I responded to him: yep, I totally agree, most of the things we do as humans is to satisfy our selfish desires, the things we want, the things we want to happen, because as I pointed out we were all created that way, with wicked and selfish desires. Except of course we make a conscious effort not to be. I’m going to back pedal a bit here, and correct myself, or justify myself: our natural inclination is to act selfishly, but we can decide to take a stand and do what is out of character, nice, kind, sefless.
Everytime I drive in Lagos, I’m in the car alone, I see the worst form / version of me possible. I have road rage, I am always screaming at people that can’t hear me, pedestrians that cross the road as though they left their house in the morning and vowed to themselves not to return alive, okadas that believe they are immortal or are in a rush hour sequel and drive anyhow, lorry drivers that are already dead, so they don’t care what happens to other road users. I act crazzzzy. Sometimes I actually stop all the screaming and think to myself, what is wrong with you. Why do I behave this way? I think that a Lagos road at rush hour is the best way to understand the average Nigerian person, and the behaviour of that average Nigerian person boils my blood to the point of explosion.
The Average Nigerian is SELFISH; the average Nigerian has a hard heart; and the average Nigerian is bitter about something - be it the fact he has to do that drive, or the nasty place of work that he is driving to, or even the car he has to drive. Just the way people give you death stares when you are trying to merge into their lanes on that Alfred Rewane bridge or the way they hurl abuse at you when you cut in front of them even when you have the right of way. People are just selfish, angry, bitter, and WICKED. It just makes me wonder if they are that way because they are a product of their environment, or is the environment, Lagos, Nigeria, the way it is because we have these kinds of people in it. It’s one of those: “what came first the egg or the chicken” debates.
What came first the selfish Nigerian, or the downtrodden Nigeria? It goes around in circles, because people don’t have the bare necessities in life, things that are the duty of their country to provide its citizens we breed more and more selfish people that have to provide those things for themselves, but in the same vein it took a selfish person or a selfish group of people for the country to fall to the depths that it is at currently. Whichever came first, the attitude people have stinks, and the enabling social and economic environment stinks too.
Dipo O said after reading some of these posts that I seem to have an up one day and down one day opinion of Lagos. This is verrrrrrrrry true; my relationship with Lagos is completely schizophrenic. Sometimes I love it, and other times I just want to disappear, the people do my head in, and the inefficiencies grind on my last nerve. So it may be hard, and though it is in my base nature to be selfish, and wicked, and think only of myself, today I will make MORE of a conscious effort to do what is for the greater good, not just what is for my good. I hope everybody else will take a leaf from my book, because the truth is that just as every journey to greatness takes just one step, the journey to changing the selfish mindset of ‘the Nigerian’ just takes individuals making a conscious effort to be selfless.
Xoxo.
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