I am no longer content to just sit at my desk, pretending to focus on what’s behind my computer screen, whereas all that going through my head is: “What on earth are you wearing”
I think the most important thing to note here is that you are at WORK.... not a party, not a wedding, not a fashion show, not a museum for hideous outfits ...its WORK. Yes you have the right to funkify your work wardrobe a bit, but there is a big difference between funky-professional and funky-you-got-it-WRONG.
Ladies:
• Hooker shoes are inappropriate. I know that some of us that are naturally tall can sometimes intimidate those that are vertically challenged. This however does not permit you to wear 12 inch bright red shoes with a thick platform at the front, that is only appropriate for ladies working the streets. Silk or netty shoes are also a no go area for the tall or for the short, I don’t claim to be an arbiter on fashion, but im just gonna put this out there – colours like Bright purple, red, yellow, turquoise, fuchsia, lime green are best kept for the weekend, and I dare say some shouldn’t even be worn at all.
• Silk frilly tops. There may be some that are appropriate, but I believe all guilty parties know the sort that I mean. This sort of top is very nice to wear to a nice romantic dinner, or to a banquet, an evening garden wedding reception, or some other formal event. But for the office, you and I both know this is wrong. I would advise you spice up your social life so that the office is no longer your only avenue for showing off your pretty tops
• Party tops. Couldn’t think of a better way to describe this. Party tops include sheer tops, tops that expose more cleavage than is necessary for daylight hours, tops with gold streaks, silver streaks, cropped tops may be the vogue, but it isn’t office cool, tight tops that squeeze all the blood in your body to your head, sequined tops, i believe you get the picture. This is totally not for work. Well if you worked as a magician’s assistant then perhaps, but for all other formal types of work in an office with a desk that has a formal dress code, I will desist from wearing these if I were you.
• Dresses. Goes without saying, but the dress you wore to deuces on Friday should not be worn on Monday, aside from hygienic reasons; I am guessing it is not appropriate. I am in no position to talk about dresses above the knee, but there is above the knee that just negates anything you have to say, because people are focused on how you look and not what you’re saying. In the workplace you should be admired for what comes out of your mouth, and what’s between your two ears, not the amount of skin you show, how long your legs are, or how much cleavage you let hang out. Aside from length concerns: If it’s not your size, get the size up, if the lycra is slack, chuck it, if it is transparent wear a slip (if you own one – I never did till my mum forced one on me – seems rather middle aged, but if it prevents us from seeing your underwear, I am in support).
• Hair / Makeup. Again, I have no authority in this area. But I will say this: Because Beyonce wore a particular hair style to perform at the MTV Awards, does not make it appropriate for everyday wear. It was for a PERFORMANCE, a SHOW, not an everyday hair style. Same applies to make up, camel lashes however pretty they make you look, are not for everyday wear. Even people in Hollywood do not wear them daily; I don’t know how it became acceptable here. I know my E-doll doesn’t agree, but eye shadow during the daytime (pinks, purples, blues) are not appropriate, perhaps nude colours can be excused, but i don’t think it is very professional for your face to look like a painters canvas at a high powered meeting.
You may think you look nice wearing all this to work, others may tell you that you look nice, I’m not saying that you don’t, all I’m saying is it is not appropriate for work. Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication. If you have no elegant work appropriate clothes in your wardrobe may I suggest you visit the folk at #Grey, they will sort you out.
GENTLEMEN:
No you haven’t gotten away. You make some office faux pas too. Significantly less than the ladies, but worthy of a mention.
• It’s very easy to believe that nobody will notice that you are wearing the same suit every day. It may be black, but we noticed. Please endeavour to dry clean once in a while, and maybe throw in some greys, tans, navy blue trousers and blazers every once in a while.
• Be brave with your shirt choices, but curb your excitement a bit ... those shirts that have a bit of a shine to them, silk patterned shirts, lime greens are extremely unattractive, pink is nice, I would shy away from fuchsia though.
• Tight trousers. If they pucker at the pockets they are not your size. Enough said.
• This is just my personal opinion, not sure what the general perception on this one is: but wearing a bow tie to work EVERYDAY, or even at all is VERY hard to pull off. Please do not attempt this if you cannot carry it off.
• Traditional on Fridays – you can recycle, but maybe don’t wear the same one every Friday, there are some prints that are clearly more feminine than masculine – avoid these, rubber nike slippers with trad is in no way acceptable, its dress down, but you are not selling gum at the corner of the street, so please endeavour to look a bit professional.
Have fun with getting dressed for work, get creative, but don’t go parking diagonally in a parallel universe – That is an abuse of your creative energy.
Xoxo.
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