Back on your pedestal

Every Nigerian has their own pedestal. Something they have done, they have achieved, they were born into, something that they stand on and it gives them a sense of belonging, a right to boast, it sets them above everyone else (even if it’s just in their heads). Since everyone has one though, it holds no water your just having one, the emphasis now lays on how elaborate your pedestal is, the grandeur of its design, how many grooves it has, how tall it is, how wide it is.

Why have I titled the post “back on your pedestal”? Because the same person on their high horse in Naije, is a totally different person elsewhere. This is most evident when you are flying into Lagos, the same person that stood in a queue at Heathrow Terminal 5, the same person that waited his turn, arrives at MMA and is pushing his way to the front of the immigration with his personal protocol officer, high off the stench of his self endowed entitlement and grandiose. For some reason the largeness, bigness he feels now that he is on home soil was lacking when he was ‘abroad’, he’s “Back on his pedestal”

Why is this? Are we Nigerians kidding ourselves? Are we living some kind of lie? It’s like we are actors, when we are abroad we are ourselves, when we land back in Giddi, we step into character, and begin to live out our fantasies on our pedestals that are the makings of our mind... Nigerians are just delusional!!!!!

People are throwing around comments like: “Do you know who I am”, “Do you know who my father is”, “Standing on my wallet I am the tallest person in the room” , “I earn more in a day than you ear in a year” ... I could really quote more, but I don’t want to tread on the wrong toes, but really these things are true, people do say things like this, it isn’t off the Hills, or Gossip Girl, This is Nigeria TIN. I am tempted to say that we are watching too much television, that DSTV has created a new type of Nigerian, but the truth is that we have been like this from before I was even born, it has been part of the Nigerian make up for the last 3 decades. I think the Yorubas call it “Fari” or sumfink like that.

I think most people are quite scared of how they would be viewed by their ‘mates’ if they were not perceived to be on some superior level, they think they will be laughed at if they are not met at the airport with one trillion mobile police, a pilot car, they live in fear that if they said they are sitting the night out because they can’t afford to spend hundreds of thousands on champagne that will be in their loo bowl before they go to bed people will delete them from their bb’s. Here is the ground breaking news, if that really affects your ‘friendships’, then they aint your actual friends, and they only hang out with you because they want to look good by association. (I could write a whole new post on looking good by association. So I won’t bell this cat right now.)

Get off your high horses Nigerians, you may be a bit dizzy when you first step off, but life is far more fun from down ‘ere, its a good ol’ laugh looking up and laughing at the tools galloping away on their Trojan horses, and even a bigger laugh when they realise that their horse wasn’t as pretty as it first appeared, or when they fall off.

Xoxo.