Everybody's Nightmare

Ever heard the saying: “Every woman’s nightmare is becoming their mother, and every man’s nightmare is marrying his mother”. Funny that it is described as a nightmare, when it is actually an inevitability. However hard you fight it, it’s gonna happen, so I suggest you don’t bother.

It took me a long time to write this post cause I knew my mum was gonna be reading it, but then I thought again, it’s actually not a bad thing. I honestly can’t think of a stronger woman in the world than my mother, so if that is the path that I am going along then I guess I will be happy with the end result. Take no offense mum (and god mothers), because I mean none ... it’s just a saying

Ads (my brother) is always teasing me, when I say certain things or force him to do things ... he always responds “Yes mum”, not so much because I’m bossy, but because I say exactly what my mum would say, react like she would, all without consciously doing so. But slowly and surely I am turning into her, well like 25%, but I think it’s a slippery slope from here on in. I expect that my kids will moan and complain about the same things that I do to or about her.

A couple of months ago I was getting feedback on my ‘leadership style’, a sort of informal, verbal performance review, and when the reviewer was describing my leadership style all I thought was, this guy is obviously crazy, he is describing my mother’s leadership style, of course I am nothing like this. Then I thought hang on, he hasn’t ever met her, so clearly I have become her, or always have been her and I never realised. I realised that I have noticed this about so many people, they eventually become their mothers, or date their mothers, though they complain bitterly about how their mother always moans about their unkempt hair (my hair is stylishly dishevelled), untidy room (my room is a tidy mess), their ill developed culinary skills (that one is for you oz), but somewhere along the line they become that, or they find that moaning quality desirable in a spouse. Ever so gradually, it’s so gradual that you don’t realise till one day “like film trick” you are like chai I have the same personality traits, the same things grind on my nerves, the same simple things make me happy.

I wonder though why this happens. Is it something that you are genetically programmed to do. Or is it the fact that you have such a large exposure to this one person that eventually you think their way is the only way, or when you get married your household needs those qualities that your mother brought to your household as a child. It works the other way round too, most men become their fathers, and most women marry their fathers. So is it nature or nurture. I don’t know the answer, but what I do know is that fighting it is futile.... YOU WILL BECOME YOUR MOTHER, OR YOU WILL MARRY YOUR MOTHER. That much I can attest to. *straight face*

Fortunately I think my mother and my father are great so becoming them or marrying someone like them is not such an ill fate for me. ( ;-) – I don’t want anything mum, and dad, my tank may need a bit of a top up though *batting my eyelashes*)

Xoxo.