As I sat in my car this morning, with the standard drone of a gazillion horns, the occasional flashing light of an okada coming full speed towards my car the wrong way down the road, driver shouting “something do you” to other road users, when in actual fact he was in the wrong, I wondered what more life had to offer than the monotony of a Nine to Five.
A lot of people do things because they believe it is the right thing to do, the natural next step. As they sit in their cars on their daily commutes they plan, or shall I say fantasize about their futures, the tour de force they are going to write, the great artist that they are going to become, the platinum album they are going to release, the social reforms they are going to lead, the retail clothing brand they are going to start. The list is endless. But they are all fantasies till you start working on achieving them.
“Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans”... Before you know it you have spent the best years of your life in the morning rush hour on Kingsway road, or on the Lekki axes, you have consumed truck loads of coffee beans in an attempt to give you that buzz for the days tasks ahead, you have daydreamed through brainstorming meetings, produced trees worth of paperwork none to do with your mighty plans for the future. Life has happened while you were procrastinating, while you were comfortable just being.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, so take that first step and follow your dreams, you will only have yourself to blame when you are in your mid 50’s and full of “what if’s”. I am not suggesting anybody quits their jobs and goes crazy o, just do what makes you happy, or at least have it in sight and within reach. Having said that if your life’s ambition is to get suited and booted every day, crisp shirt, tight tie, money hitting your account every 3rd week of the month - nothing do you, keep doing what you do :)
p.s. – I am absolutely loving http://fusionme.tv at the moment. It’s the new destination for the best Nigerian videos on the internet, check it out.
Xoxo.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Nigerian Social Etiquette
I think I will forever be bemused by new age Nigerian ‘greeting’ etiquette.
The rules in general for greeting people when in public are:
• Greet all people who you deem to be socially superior to you. 3 kisses on the cheek is preferable, 2 will suffice if you are hard pressed for time (i.e. there is another socially superior person about to leave the gathering and you must be seen talking to them before they leave). Quite simply put – Greeting for Social Climbing (Read *Mountaineering *) purposes is key
• It is not compulsory to say hello to somebody even if you have them on your bb, have 73 mutual friends, you are family friends, you spent the whole of the last weekend at their beach house schmoozing with their business partners (they were useful then, assess whether making public your acquaintance will be useful to you now)
• Do not approach anybody sitting alone. They are clearly segregated from the group for a reason. Do not associate yourself with them, it will not work out well
• It is not necessary to say hi to the host of whatever event you are at. Most likely you are not there for them, you are just there for the free drinks, food, and to be seen with their cool friends
• It is absolutely ok to walk up to a group of people chatting, say hi to the person you know and ignore the rest
• You do not have to introduce the person you came with to all your other friends. If they don’t already know them you should already be feeling ashamed for bring an *unknown* out
• It is ok to be over familiar with people you have only just met. Pass sly and acidic comments about their hair do, their lisp, or their wardrobe choices, it is very becoming.
• As a guy it is perfectly ok to barge through a door in front of all the women waiting to pass through it (at the end of the day it’s not like she is your girlfriend or some girl you like – you need only turn on the charm when she is)
• It’s ok to just ignore someone when they say hi to you if you just don’t fell like talking to them
• It gives you more swag points to just pretend that nobody else but you exists
• If the person you are ‘greeting’ doesn’t know who you are, it is expected that you tell them how much of a “bix bwoy” or “bix gel” you are, while you’re at it tell them your annual income, who you parents are, your island mansion co-ordinates this will come in handy to ensure they remember you next time
• Being a sycophant is totally ok, being obsequious will pay off when he/she becomes governor or minister of oil and gas in 10 years, can you spell *CONTRACT*
• It is absolutely ok to have MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, because you said hi to them last night, doesn’t mean you have to today, because yesterday you were the intelligent independent woman setting up an NGO to help orphaned girls realise their potential to achieve greatness without any man, doesn’t mean that today you can’t be the damsel in distress who cannot lift a single finger without assistance. Play it by ear, it’s all just a spot of acting.
I hope you found those rules just as ridiculous as I find watching people who actually follow them on a daily basis. Next time just say “Hi”. 1. Life just isn’t that serious. 2. You are not all that important. 3. They won’t bite (well some may, but if they do you can just bite back).
Xoxo.
The rules in general for greeting people when in public are:
• Greet all people who you deem to be socially superior to you. 3 kisses on the cheek is preferable, 2 will suffice if you are hard pressed for time (i.e. there is another socially superior person about to leave the gathering and you must be seen talking to them before they leave). Quite simply put – Greeting for Social Climbing (Read *Mountaineering *) purposes is key
• It is not compulsory to say hello to somebody even if you have them on your bb, have 73 mutual friends, you are family friends, you spent the whole of the last weekend at their beach house schmoozing with their business partners (they were useful then, assess whether making public your acquaintance will be useful to you now)
• Do not approach anybody sitting alone. They are clearly segregated from the group for a reason. Do not associate yourself with them, it will not work out well
• It is not necessary to say hi to the host of whatever event you are at. Most likely you are not there for them, you are just there for the free drinks, food, and to be seen with their cool friends
• It is absolutely ok to walk up to a group of people chatting, say hi to the person you know and ignore the rest
• You do not have to introduce the person you came with to all your other friends. If they don’t already know them you should already be feeling ashamed for bring an *unknown* out
• It is ok to be over familiar with people you have only just met. Pass sly and acidic comments about their hair do, their lisp, or their wardrobe choices, it is very becoming.
• As a guy it is perfectly ok to barge through a door in front of all the women waiting to pass through it (at the end of the day it’s not like she is your girlfriend or some girl you like – you need only turn on the charm when she is)
• It’s ok to just ignore someone when they say hi to you if you just don’t fell like talking to them
• It gives you more swag points to just pretend that nobody else but you exists
• If the person you are ‘greeting’ doesn’t know who you are, it is expected that you tell them how much of a “bix bwoy” or “bix gel” you are, while you’re at it tell them your annual income, who you parents are, your island mansion co-ordinates this will come in handy to ensure they remember you next time
• Being a sycophant is totally ok, being obsequious will pay off when he/she becomes governor or minister of oil and gas in 10 years, can you spell *CONTRACT*
• It is absolutely ok to have MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER, because you said hi to them last night, doesn’t mean you have to today, because yesterday you were the intelligent independent woman setting up an NGO to help orphaned girls realise their potential to achieve greatness without any man, doesn’t mean that today you can’t be the damsel in distress who cannot lift a single finger without assistance. Play it by ear, it’s all just a spot of acting.
I hope you found those rules just as ridiculous as I find watching people who actually follow them on a daily basis. Next time just say “Hi”. 1. Life just isn’t that serious. 2. You are not all that important. 3. They won’t bite (well some may, but if they do you can just bite back).
Xoxo.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Failing Forward
Yesterday morning I was talking to a friend, and I said to him “I think I’ve made all the mistakes I want to make in life” ... and he says whether you want to or not, we never stop making mistakes, and these mistakes will eventually make you a sage. Very wise words.
The same applies to failing. The more you fail, the better you become at what you failed at, because you have a catalogue of the ways not to do it. I will be the first to admit that I have a fear of failure. Not really because I think that life will be over if I fail at something, more because I feel like after putting in all the effort it’s only fair that you don’t fail at it. I just want to do great the first time, and skip all the in between phase. However the way to the greatest heights is through the greatest depths – “There are depths for heights”. If you are afraid of the depths, you *maybe* don’t deserve the heights #JustSayin’.
The truth is that you haven’t failed until you stop trying. “Winners lose more than losers do”, but they become winners, because they weren’t content to just call it a day. They sharpened their knives with their adversity, failures, misfortunes, and went in for the kill again.
It took 10000 tries for the light bulb; Alexander Fleming failed countless times before Penicillin; It took several attempts to put the first man on the moon; Before Boeing 747 there were the Wright brothers; Before Fashola there was ******. The truth is that the best inventions, the greatest minds, and the most formidable achievements / successes failed before they succeeded. I mean wouldn’t you flip the channel if you watched someone who made the greatest discovery after the first try – that’s no story.
So when you fail - try again, fail again, fail better.
Xoxo.
The same applies to failing. The more you fail, the better you become at what you failed at, because you have a catalogue of the ways not to do it. I will be the first to admit that I have a fear of failure. Not really because I think that life will be over if I fail at something, more because I feel like after putting in all the effort it’s only fair that you don’t fail at it. I just want to do great the first time, and skip all the in between phase. However the way to the greatest heights is through the greatest depths – “There are depths for heights”. If you are afraid of the depths, you *maybe* don’t deserve the heights #JustSayin’.
The truth is that you haven’t failed until you stop trying. “Winners lose more than losers do”, but they become winners, because they weren’t content to just call it a day. They sharpened their knives with their adversity, failures, misfortunes, and went in for the kill again.
It took 10000 tries for the light bulb; Alexander Fleming failed countless times before Penicillin; It took several attempts to put the first man on the moon; Before Boeing 747 there were the Wright brothers; Before Fashola there was ******. The truth is that the best inventions, the greatest minds, and the most formidable achievements / successes failed before they succeeded. I mean wouldn’t you flip the channel if you watched someone who made the greatest discovery after the first try – that’s no story.
So when you fail - try again, fail again, fail better.
Xoxo.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Creative Energy Abused
I am no longer content to just sit at my desk, pretending to focus on what’s behind my computer screen, whereas all that going through my head is: “What on earth are you wearing”
I think the most important thing to note here is that you are at WORK.... not a party, not a wedding, not a fashion show, not a museum for hideous outfits ...its WORK. Yes you have the right to funkify your work wardrobe a bit, but there is a big difference between funky-professional and funky-you-got-it-WRONG.
Ladies:
• Hooker shoes are inappropriate. I know that some of us that are naturally tall can sometimes intimidate those that are vertically challenged. This however does not permit you to wear 12 inch bright red shoes with a thick platform at the front, that is only appropriate for ladies working the streets. Silk or netty shoes are also a no go area for the tall or for the short, I don’t claim to be an arbiter on fashion, but im just gonna put this out there – colours like Bright purple, red, yellow, turquoise, fuchsia, lime green are best kept for the weekend, and I dare say some shouldn’t even be worn at all.
• Silk frilly tops. There may be some that are appropriate, but I believe all guilty parties know the sort that I mean. This sort of top is very nice to wear to a nice romantic dinner, or to a banquet, an evening garden wedding reception, or some other formal event. But for the office, you and I both know this is wrong. I would advise you spice up your social life so that the office is no longer your only avenue for showing off your pretty tops
• Party tops. Couldn’t think of a better way to describe this. Party tops include sheer tops, tops that expose more cleavage than is necessary for daylight hours, tops with gold streaks, silver streaks, cropped tops may be the vogue, but it isn’t office cool, tight tops that squeeze all the blood in your body to your head, sequined tops, i believe you get the picture. This is totally not for work. Well if you worked as a magician’s assistant then perhaps, but for all other formal types of work in an office with a desk that has a formal dress code, I will desist from wearing these if I were you.
• Dresses. Goes without saying, but the dress you wore to deuces on Friday should not be worn on Monday, aside from hygienic reasons; I am guessing it is not appropriate. I am in no position to talk about dresses above the knee, but there is above the knee that just negates anything you have to say, because people are focused on how you look and not what you’re saying. In the workplace you should be admired for what comes out of your mouth, and what’s between your two ears, not the amount of skin you show, how long your legs are, or how much cleavage you let hang out. Aside from length concerns: If it’s not your size, get the size up, if the lycra is slack, chuck it, if it is transparent wear a slip (if you own one – I never did till my mum forced one on me – seems rather middle aged, but if it prevents us from seeing your underwear, I am in support).
• Hair / Makeup. Again, I have no authority in this area. But I will say this: Because Beyonce wore a particular hair style to perform at the MTV Awards, does not make it appropriate for everyday wear. It was for a PERFORMANCE, a SHOW, not an everyday hair style. Same applies to make up, camel lashes however pretty they make you look, are not for everyday wear. Even people in Hollywood do not wear them daily; I don’t know how it became acceptable here. I know my E-doll doesn’t agree, but eye shadow during the daytime (pinks, purples, blues) are not appropriate, perhaps nude colours can be excused, but i don’t think it is very professional for your face to look like a painters canvas at a high powered meeting.
You may think you look nice wearing all this to work, others may tell you that you look nice, I’m not saying that you don’t, all I’m saying is it is not appropriate for work. Simplicity is the ultimate form of sophistication. If you have no elegant work appropriate clothes in your wardrobe may I suggest you visit the folk at #Grey, they will sort you out.
GENTLEMEN:
No you haven’t gotten away. You make some office faux pas too. Significantly less than the ladies, but worthy of a mention.
• It’s very easy to believe that nobody will notice that you are wearing the same suit every day. It may be black, but we noticed. Please endeavour to dry clean once in a while, and maybe throw in some greys, tans, navy blue trousers and blazers every once in a while.
• Be brave with your shirt choices, but curb your excitement a bit ... those shirts that have a bit of a shine to them, silk patterned shirts, lime greens are extremely unattractive, pink is nice, I would shy away from fuchsia though.
• Tight trousers. If they pucker at the pockets they are not your size. Enough said.
• This is just my personal opinion, not sure what the general perception on this one is: but wearing a bow tie to work EVERYDAY, or even at all is VERY hard to pull off. Please do not attempt this if you cannot carry it off.
• Traditional on Fridays – you can recycle, but maybe don’t wear the same one every Friday, there are some prints that are clearly more feminine than masculine – avoid these, rubber nike slippers with trad is in no way acceptable, its dress down, but you are not selling gum at the corner of the street, so please endeavour to look a bit professional.
Have fun with getting dressed for work, get creative, but don’t go parking diagonally in a parallel universe – That is an abuse of your creative energy.
Xoxo.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Life is SHORT
Every now and again something tragic happens and it really shakes me into the sad realisation that life is very very short. For a couple of months after the tragic event I try my hardest to live everyday as if it were my last, but somewhere along the line I start taking life for granted again. I think it’s very important that we all realise that every single second that we live is a gift, we must cherish it, be grateful for it, and never take it for granted.
• Appreciate all your friends. Tell them when you miss them, forgive them when they offend you, apologise when you offend them
• If you love someone tell them. They may be here today, and not tomorrow. So while they’re here make sure they know how you feel
• If you love someone show it. Go that extra mile to put your words into action
• Smile. Life is too short to be unhappy
• Follow your dreams. Do what you want to do NOW, because tomorrow may just never come
• Give to the less privileged. We cannot take any of our material possessions with us to the next world, so while we can we should share what we have with others. Feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and give shelter to the homeless
• Say Thank You. Simple two words that mean sooooooo much
• Say sorry. Admit it when you are wrong
• Don’t hold grudges, it really isn’t worth it
• Tell the truth always. It is better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie
• Take Chances. It’s always better to look back and wish you hadn’t done it, than to look back and wish you had. Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt
• Treat people like you would like to be treated
• Let go of your past hurts, and focus on building a better tomorrow
• Trust people – Share your concerns and your dreams, because they just may be going through the same thing or went through the same thing. Take off your hard as stone masks, before they become your face
• Send out a nice bouquet of thoughts to those you care about whenever you think about them
• Find someone to share your life with. Success and happiness is nothing if you have nobody to share it with
• And most importantly we must remember that: “TO LIVE IS CHRIST, AND TO DIE IS GAIN”. A relationship with God is the most important relationship you will EVER have or EVER need
Life is very short, make sure that yours counts. Make sure that you are remembered fondly, missed dearly, and thought of daily. Live your life so that it’s worthy of a segment on CNN.
And for those that we have lost too soon I pray that their souls will rest in perfect peace.
Xoxo.
• Appreciate all your friends. Tell them when you miss them, forgive them when they offend you, apologise when you offend them
• If you love someone tell them. They may be here today, and not tomorrow. So while they’re here make sure they know how you feel
• If you love someone show it. Go that extra mile to put your words into action
• Smile. Life is too short to be unhappy
• Follow your dreams. Do what you want to do NOW, because tomorrow may just never come
• Give to the less privileged. We cannot take any of our material possessions with us to the next world, so while we can we should share what we have with others. Feed the hungry, clothe the poor, and give shelter to the homeless
• Say Thank You. Simple two words that mean sooooooo much
• Say sorry. Admit it when you are wrong
• Don’t hold grudges, it really isn’t worth it
• Tell the truth always. It is better to be hurt by the truth than comforted by a lie
• Take Chances. It’s always better to look back and wish you hadn’t done it, than to look back and wish you had. Sometimes the beauty is in the attempt
• Treat people like you would like to be treated
• Let go of your past hurts, and focus on building a better tomorrow
• Trust people – Share your concerns and your dreams, because they just may be going through the same thing or went through the same thing. Take off your hard as stone masks, before they become your face
• Send out a nice bouquet of thoughts to those you care about whenever you think about them
• Find someone to share your life with. Success and happiness is nothing if you have nobody to share it with
• And most importantly we must remember that: “TO LIVE IS CHRIST, AND TO DIE IS GAIN”. A relationship with God is the most important relationship you will EVER have or EVER need
Life is very short, make sure that yours counts. Make sure that you are remembered fondly, missed dearly, and thought of daily. Live your life so that it’s worthy of a segment on CNN.
And for those that we have lost too soon I pray that their souls will rest in perfect peace.
Xoxo.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Staring a Gift Horse in the Mouth
Sometimes I wonder if we are all so preoccupied with the things that we want, the lives we have planned for ourselves, the people we want to share our lives with. etc. ; that we sometimes miss out on the things that could potentially make us happier than the things that we have always dreamed of. Are we just “staring a gift horse in the mouth”?
A lot of us are gifted with things, people, circumstances, talents, opportunities etc that we do not deserve, and would not normally be able to afford, but we pick at their faults, shortcomings and general inappropriateness. We are literally staring a gift horse in the mouth, counting all the teeth, checking the tonsils, looking at the health of the gums, searching for mouth ulcers. We are cataloguing the faults, and paying no attention to the upsides.
The 21st century has promoted people being so consumed with their ‘lusts’, that when great things walk into their lives they neglect them, overly criticise them, and let them walk out again. We don’t seem to realise that life isn’t about having everything you want, exactly as you want, it is about taking what you’ve got, making the best of it, and committing to continually working on making what you have better. Perhaps when you are content with what you have, the very thing you want may come easier.
So if you are staring a gift horse in the mouth, slowly step down from your pedestal, put away your magnifying glass, and get back in the saddle.
xoxo.
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Monday, May 23, 2011
Parade of the frogs
It is universally acknowledged (well by people that believe in fairytales at least) that you have to kiss a lot of frogs (figuratively, literally) before you find your prince. Not to have a dig on Nigerian men (I am aware that I do this far more than I intend), but sometimes there is such a down pouring of frogs, it becomes more of a parade of the frogs; A festival of the weird and wonderful, a circus of the bizarre and the unnecessary brave, a bazaar of the unique and the colourfully different. All the frogs showing their most elaborate and well practiced stunts, cartwheels, frog jumps (quite apt), walking on stilts, wearing the most elaborate of costumes, clown shoes, and red noses, all in a bid to get a kiss from a princess who hopes they will magically morph into a prince. Unfortunately she is not aware that a frog can never be a prince, if he wasn’t first a prince that was turned into a frog. (Yeah that sentence confused me too). This is not to say that there are no princes, just that you have to go through a few frogs to find them.
Anyhows, I had quite a funny conversation with my friend, whose name I shall protect, but you know yourself, and it became quite apparent that depending on how long you have had to watch this parade, sit through the gnarly monologues (I say gnarly because some of them are so deceitfully good), and answer irrelevant questions, dating in Lagos is a chore, akin to studying for a quantum mechanics exam. Myself, X, my mum and my brother had quite a laugh at some of the things people say, ask, do, and I thought to myself that we laugh at it now, but the people that do these things are blissfully unaware of their inappropriateness. So being the niccccceee person that I am (*blushes*) I am gonna let you know what you should not do on a date if you genuinely want a second one. You may have been X’s frog, but you can still be Y’s prince.
• Numero Uno. Personally I believe you can learn a lot more about a person in an hour of play than a lifetime of conversation. You most certainly then cannot learn very much about a person by hosting an formal styled interview with them. Honestly there is no value add to you on a first date asking things like: What is your favourite colour?? (Why do you need to know this), How many siblings do you have? Or any other family questions? (We are not planning the wedding train just yet), What is your favourite day of the week? What MTN plan do you have? How many guys / girls have you dated? These are non value add questions. Just as you may get offended if we asked “How much do you get paid”, “What are your 10 year career plans” we also get offended by these daft questions
• Do not underestimate the Lagos grapevine. There is really nooooooo point in creating a false identity. You will be found out. If you sit on your backside day in day out, do not claim to be a real estate developer, an architect or a brain surgeon. If your date is a real Lagos gal you will soon be found out and your lying ways will be front page citi people before long. Be yourself, that’s the best version of you there is.
• Do not try to prove to the girl that you are super popular by over greeting people around you, always looking around to see who walks in, and to make sure the girl knows that you know them. That’s sorta irritating, and reveals some sort of insecurity.
• Do not spend the whole evening, day, morning whatever on your bb. I’m sure you are very important and whoever you are bb’ing cannot do without speaking to you, but whoever you are with wants to feel “like the only girl in the world”, the only person in the world even
• This one is a bit tricky. But do not assume that she can find her own way. I personally like to drive myself sha, so if like X, I can no longer bare stupid questions I can just leave. But leave it to her to decide if she wants picking up or not
• Do not go on a date if you are engaged and to be married next week, and all you are using her for is to make sure you have made the right decision to get married
• If your girlfriend of 13 years has just broken up with you for some loaded, heterosexual version of Tom Ford avoid making this a topic of conversation. Nobody wants to be thought of as a rebound
• Do not dominate the conversation, let her speak a little
• Do not under any circumstance talk about football, spend the entire time watching a match (to me at least). We know you like the sport, we would just rather not have to deal with it on what is meant to be a pleasant evening out.
• A lot of girls are assessing you as a potential spouse when they are on a date, so general drunken, leery behaviour is a big no no. Control your drinking.
• Don’t stare. Staring is just rude. Just take a picture it’ll last longer, stare at it when you get home
• Do not control. This is the 21st century, women have opinions too, don’t lord yours over her. If she wants white do not insist on a bottle of red
• And (i’m going to stop here) If you are not a funny person, DO NOT crack jokes, if you must please practice them on a sister, cousin etc for appropriateness and funniness before you try it out doors.
Xoxo.
Anyhows, I had quite a funny conversation with my friend, whose name I shall protect, but you know yourself, and it became quite apparent that depending on how long you have had to watch this parade, sit through the gnarly monologues (I say gnarly because some of them are so deceitfully good), and answer irrelevant questions, dating in Lagos is a chore, akin to studying for a quantum mechanics exam. Myself, X, my mum and my brother had quite a laugh at some of the things people say, ask, do, and I thought to myself that we laugh at it now, but the people that do these things are blissfully unaware of their inappropriateness. So being the niccccceee person that I am (*blushes*) I am gonna let you know what you should not do on a date if you genuinely want a second one. You may have been X’s frog, but you can still be Y’s prince.
• Numero Uno. Personally I believe you can learn a lot more about a person in an hour of play than a lifetime of conversation. You most certainly then cannot learn very much about a person by hosting an formal styled interview with them. Honestly there is no value add to you on a first date asking things like: What is your favourite colour?? (Why do you need to know this), How many siblings do you have? Or any other family questions? (We are not planning the wedding train just yet), What is your favourite day of the week? What MTN plan do you have? How many guys / girls have you dated? These are non value add questions. Just as you may get offended if we asked “How much do you get paid”, “What are your 10 year career plans” we also get offended by these daft questions
• Do not underestimate the Lagos grapevine. There is really nooooooo point in creating a false identity. You will be found out. If you sit on your backside day in day out, do not claim to be a real estate developer, an architect or a brain surgeon. If your date is a real Lagos gal you will soon be found out and your lying ways will be front page citi people before long. Be yourself, that’s the best version of you there is.
• Do not try to prove to the girl that you are super popular by over greeting people around you, always looking around to see who walks in, and to make sure the girl knows that you know them. That’s sorta irritating, and reveals some sort of insecurity.
• Do not spend the whole evening, day, morning whatever on your bb. I’m sure you are very important and whoever you are bb’ing cannot do without speaking to you, but whoever you are with wants to feel “like the only girl in the world”, the only person in the world even
• This one is a bit tricky. But do not assume that she can find her own way. I personally like to drive myself sha, so if like X, I can no longer bare stupid questions I can just leave. But leave it to her to decide if she wants picking up or not
• Do not go on a date if you are engaged and to be married next week, and all you are using her for is to make sure you have made the right decision to get married
• If your girlfriend of 13 years has just broken up with you for some loaded, heterosexual version of Tom Ford avoid making this a topic of conversation. Nobody wants to be thought of as a rebound
• Do not dominate the conversation, let her speak a little
• Do not under any circumstance talk about football, spend the entire time watching a match (to me at least). We know you like the sport, we would just rather not have to deal with it on what is meant to be a pleasant evening out.
• A lot of girls are assessing you as a potential spouse when they are on a date, so general drunken, leery behaviour is a big no no. Control your drinking.
• Don’t stare. Staring is just rude. Just take a picture it’ll last longer, stare at it when you get home
• Do not control. This is the 21st century, women have opinions too, don’t lord yours over her. If she wants white do not insist on a bottle of red
• And (i’m going to stop here) If you are not a funny person, DO NOT crack jokes, if you must please practice them on a sister, cousin etc for appropriateness and funniness before you try it out doors.
Xoxo.
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