“Love and Marriage,
Love and Marriage,
They go together like a horse and carriage
This i’ll tell you brother,
You can’t have one without the other”
That Frank Sinatra tune has been buzzing in my head all week, which is quite funny because that is quite the opposite of what obtains in Nigeria, it’s completely spun on its head, distorted in every possible way. Our Nigerian theme tune goes more like:
“Lot and Marriage,
Lot and Marriage,
It’s an institute you CAN disparage
This i’ll tell you brother,
If you have a bad lot,
You’ll still make a good marriage”
I really did try to make that rhyme, I just lack the patience, but I think I made my point, in Nigeria love is the least of your considerations when you are getting married. On the top of the list for down this neck of the woods:
1. Money , Owo, Ego ... Either he has it, you don’t, or you have it, and the thought of moving to the other side of the ‘Brooklyn bridge’ after you get married sends shivers down your spine, so you have to ‘shine ya eye‘ for someone that comes “readymade”, 7 bedroom mansion in banana island, Audi q7, a spare Toyota Prado in case petrol in the q7 ever drops below quarter tank, use of his father’s private jet if you ever need a weekend get away to Sao Tome, 2 great danes that he got from South Africa that only drink harrods milk.... etc. etc. Bottom line regardless of the fact that he may be the Hunchback of Notre Dam, regardless of whether he is an axe murderer, with enough personalities to send you to a loony bin before you hit your 30’s, regardless of whether you care more for Hitler than you could ever care for him, if his bank account is similar to an obese teenager, bulging at every seam, you’re good to go!!!!! You hit jackpot when he “iced your second finger”.
2. Pressure. I have seen so many people get married to any Tom, Dick or Harry because they got fed up of people saying: “When will we be informed?”, “We hear destination parties are now the vogue, where will we travel for yours”, “Aunty agbaya, always the bridesmaid, never the bride”, “We don’t want a 30 year old miracle, better bring him now”, could go on forever but last one, and this is what my God Mother says too me every time... “I have warned you o, it is whoever finds first, if you find him for yourself I will accept, if I find somebody before you, then...”. So far as you do wedding, people tend to forget that they have to spend the rest of your life with this person, and as my Dad pointed out they don’t do pre-nup in Nigeria because the woman gets nothing anyway, so it really is for life, I think most people are just numb to this fact, so they go ahead and plug their round peg into a square whole, and endure the discomfort for life.
3. Circumstance. For whatever reason, and I say this with no judgment at all, people get married because they are pregnant, cause it’s what their parents want (yeah some parents pick wives and husbands, as though picking out your clothes when you were younger wasn’t bad enough), they are about to be cut off by their rents, they want to move up the social ladder – they are just tired of being the third wheel at all the “it” parties, they want their invite in their own name .... Mrs Shokolokobangoshe
4. Beauty. Some people just get married because they want a trophee wife or husband, no more than an accessory, a hair piece, a jewelled broach, a painted peacock: Just like a Hermes Birkin bag automatically gives status to a primark dress, their Beaurifulllll wife or Handsome husband changes their status to – “O ti de”
I don’t know if I have just watched far too many period dramas and Disney movies, but all that sounds like a nightmare to me, it would be akin to waking up on the set of criminal minds with no escape route, and I’m the victim. My friend D.O. always says love isn’t enough for marriage, and to a certain extent I do agree with her, but in Nigeria love has been completely removed from the equation, and replaced with the other accompaniments, The turkey has been taken away, fed to the dog, and people are focusing on whether there is enough cranberry sauce. To me it seems very silly, I’d rather just wait till my “Olowo Ori Mi” really is the Olowo ori mi, than be pressured to sacrifice love for money, circumstance and aesthetics.
Xoxo.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Lost Art of Conversation
Before anybody says anything, I will be the first to admit that I am guilty (to a certain extent) of whatever follows, so I’m not being hypocritical or anything, just pointing out observations.
Recently I had to take a trip to some off endzzzzzzzz location with a friend, well to me it was like the edge of the earth, but apparently that is some people’s daily commute. The driver drove, and we sat at the back and had a conversation, all the way up to the north pole, we talked about everything from the serious (politics), to the random and irrelevant (oranges that were being hawked on the side of the road), and it was very refreshing. But the truth is my blackberry battery had died, so at that point all I could do was talk, had that not been the case I would have robbed myself of a great conversation, because inevitably somebody would have bbm’ed and i’d have to reply, there would be something interesting “trending” on twitter, a funny chain email would have come in that I couldn’t resist reading, something would have distracted me from fully committing to a chat. For a split second it made me think: social media really is the devils spawn (I don’t really think that, but at the very least it must be some miniature daemon that is not naughty enough for the devil to send on runs, so he just keeps him facing the wall with one hand up and a laptop and blackberry in the other hand). Social media has robbed an entire generation of the ability to appreciate the “Art of Conversation”
If we were to calculate the amount of time the average (average privileged) Nigerian spends on their blackberry, iPhone, android (just u Kiks), other brand of smartphone, it would probably be around one to two thirds of their waking hours. Bb messenger, twitter, facebook, WhatsApp, kik... U name it, a whole cyber social network at your fingertips, an opportunity to either express yourself, be 100% who you are, no airs no graces, or to create some sort of false persona and live out the life of the person you wished you were, and nobody will question you. I have spoken to people that have really creased me up, had me rolling on the floor in laughter in “cyber space”, then bumped into them in real life, the 3 dimensional world and they had the humour of a corpse, watching ants crawl up and down a wall for 2 hours is more entertaining than hanging with them for 5 minutes. Whether this is because they are shy or because they are not really who they are in cyberspace, I am in no position to judge, but somehow the cat got their tongue, the same tongue that was talking 19 to the dozen on the other end of a phone screen, is now short of words.
It’s always so remarkable to me when I’m in London, having dinner with friends, and there isn’t a single phone on the table, oyinbos no dey commot phone for pocket, they don’t check who tweeted what, if there is a red light flashing, who just changed their profile picture to something controversial, they just dey chop their food, and ‘conversate’ dey go. I often joke around about having social anxiety (sometimes its not a joke sha), but it is almost par for the course, we spend so much time on our phones that the thought of social intercourse begins to nauseate and terrify us, and we quite simply are incapable of talking without being able to cut and paste, erase, re-type, spell check, use a thesaurus, thinking about what we want to say a hundred times over, making sure to tailor it to what the person we are ‘socialising’ with wants to hear, using overly aggressive wit, saying things we dare not say otherwise, because we can, forced gallantry, etc etc. We can be whoever our keypad allows us to be, but once it is taken away, very few people know how to behave, they morph into shrinking violets, or they bring out their ak47 and load it up with 500 rounds of pure bull *h**, sort of like verbal diarrhoea, they burst into nervous chatters, but it isn’t true conversation.
Real conversation is truly an art, and one I have made my study. It is uninhibited, raw, and real. It is being able to say what’s on your mind however stupid, it is being able to crack a joke that nobody else but you finds funny, it is not tiring under the pressure to be interesting, it is throwing in the odd conversational hand grenade – saying something unexpected, it is talking about nothing, but the other person understands perfectly, it is a connection of minds, it is a communion, it is give and take, it is the noblest of team sports. Like a painting, no two conversations are the same, each painter uses a different stroke, a different pallet, and has a different style ... His “CONVERSATION” is his own unique “ART”.
Xoxo.
Recently I had to take a trip to some off endzzzzzzzz location with a friend, well to me it was like the edge of the earth, but apparently that is some people’s daily commute. The driver drove, and we sat at the back and had a conversation, all the way up to the north pole, we talked about everything from the serious (politics), to the random and irrelevant (oranges that were being hawked on the side of the road), and it was very refreshing. But the truth is my blackberry battery had died, so at that point all I could do was talk, had that not been the case I would have robbed myself of a great conversation, because inevitably somebody would have bbm’ed and i’d have to reply, there would be something interesting “trending” on twitter, a funny chain email would have come in that I couldn’t resist reading, something would have distracted me from fully committing to a chat. For a split second it made me think: social media really is the devils spawn (I don’t really think that, but at the very least it must be some miniature daemon that is not naughty enough for the devil to send on runs, so he just keeps him facing the wall with one hand up and a laptop and blackberry in the other hand). Social media has robbed an entire generation of the ability to appreciate the “Art of Conversation”
If we were to calculate the amount of time the average (average privileged) Nigerian spends on their blackberry, iPhone, android (just u Kiks), other brand of smartphone, it would probably be around one to two thirds of their waking hours. Bb messenger, twitter, facebook, WhatsApp, kik... U name it, a whole cyber social network at your fingertips, an opportunity to either express yourself, be 100% who you are, no airs no graces, or to create some sort of false persona and live out the life of the person you wished you were, and nobody will question you. I have spoken to people that have really creased me up, had me rolling on the floor in laughter in “cyber space”, then bumped into them in real life, the 3 dimensional world and they had the humour of a corpse, watching ants crawl up and down a wall for 2 hours is more entertaining than hanging with them for 5 minutes. Whether this is because they are shy or because they are not really who they are in cyberspace, I am in no position to judge, but somehow the cat got their tongue, the same tongue that was talking 19 to the dozen on the other end of a phone screen, is now short of words.
It’s always so remarkable to me when I’m in London, having dinner with friends, and there isn’t a single phone on the table, oyinbos no dey commot phone for pocket, they don’t check who tweeted what, if there is a red light flashing, who just changed their profile picture to something controversial, they just dey chop their food, and ‘conversate’ dey go. I often joke around about having social anxiety (sometimes its not a joke sha), but it is almost par for the course, we spend so much time on our phones that the thought of social intercourse begins to nauseate and terrify us, and we quite simply are incapable of talking without being able to cut and paste, erase, re-type, spell check, use a thesaurus, thinking about what we want to say a hundred times over, making sure to tailor it to what the person we are ‘socialising’ with wants to hear, using overly aggressive wit, saying things we dare not say otherwise, because we can, forced gallantry, etc etc. We can be whoever our keypad allows us to be, but once it is taken away, very few people know how to behave, they morph into shrinking violets, or they bring out their ak47 and load it up with 500 rounds of pure bull *h**, sort of like verbal diarrhoea, they burst into nervous chatters, but it isn’t true conversation.
Real conversation is truly an art, and one I have made my study. It is uninhibited, raw, and real. It is being able to say what’s on your mind however stupid, it is being able to crack a joke that nobody else but you finds funny, it is not tiring under the pressure to be interesting, it is throwing in the odd conversational hand grenade – saying something unexpected, it is talking about nothing, but the other person understands perfectly, it is a connection of minds, it is a communion, it is give and take, it is the noblest of team sports. Like a painting, no two conversations are the same, each painter uses a different stroke, a different pallet, and has a different style ... His “CONVERSATION” is his own unique “ART”.
Xoxo.
Monday, January 17, 2011
The Nigerian Hustle
The Nigerian Hustle. Hard coded. Genetically predefined. Programmed. Whether you have just one drop of Nigerian blood, or your only claim to an exotic line, is that your uncle (by marriage) had a great grandfather that was from one remote village on the backside of Nassarawa. If you have that Nigerian blood, you have that “Nigerian hustle”. Full stop. Some tribes / ethnic groups more than others, I won’t mention any names o, but our “wheeler / dealer” brothers sabi hustle more than my own “owambe” party throwing people. But we all hustle.
Because of my need to get places asap for work engagements I have developed a small habit (not voluntary of course) of taking taxis, or shall I say “climbing taggzzzee”. I’m not talking red cab, or corporate cab, or one of those aje butter type of taxi o, the real deal, yellow, furry seats with ticks most likely buried inside, cracked windows that don’t wind down or up, locks don’t work, forget AC (that is just a dream), car is so old it doesn’t have a radio, gear box almost falling off... you get the picture. I got in one of these again on Friday, this time not to get to and from a client, just cause, I needed to go home from work, my car was being serviced, it was closing time, and somehow sitting in this tagzzeee was far more attractive than milling around the office. My phone battery had died, I didn’t have a book, so it was me, my thoughts, the dusty Lagos breeze, and the tagzeee driver with his blood shot eyes . He didn’t really speak much English, just Yoruba, so I opted for my thoughts as opposed to an entire conversation in my fonetisized-yoruba...
...Watching this guy alone, made me think... He had probably been up since 3 a.m.; had his morning rice dished out from a plastic container that once perched on the head of a street side hawker (who had probably been up an hour before him, to make her wares for the morning); he had probably given his housewife with 6 or so kids a daily allowance of 500, max 1000 Naira to get the kids to school (ah I forgot GEJ and his awesome government shut those down for a month ... woops), and make his evening meal; he had probably gone to fetch water from a nearby reserve (by reserve I really mean a neighbourhood well or one of those fountain tap things (I’ve seen all sorts on my morning drives to marina) to wash his ride; he had probably (on an average Nigerian day) been in a queue to buy petrol for his daily runs; and now he was driving me from my office in VI, to some location in Ikoyi; after my drop he will probably do 15 – 30 more runs - till about 1130; he will head home to Iyano woro, or some other off endzzzzz location; he’ll eat whatever meal his wife has prepared; he will go to bed, without air conditioning, internet, dstv, a night cap, or a late night blackberry chat. That was his life, at least that’s what I imagined it to be. His life was a HUZZZZZZZZZZZZLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!! As he wiped his brow with a filthy rag that he kept in between the drivers’ seat and the passenger seat, I thought to myself, this guy represents the “Nigerian Hustle”. The Americans have their “American dream” but what we have in these ends is the “Nigerian Hustle”.
Whether you are rich or poor, privileged or unfortunate, educated or illiterate, if you are a Nigerian, you are a national born HUSTLER, or HUZZZZLER. And I don’t know about you, but I am bursting with pride at that fact. The dictionary defines a hustler as: “a shrewd or unscrupulous person who knows how to circumvent difficulties”. Life in Lagos, Nigeria as a whole may be difficult, tough, but we have already been designed to overcome the difficulties. Individual levels of ‘unscrupulousness’ and ‘shrewdness’ may vary from one man to the next, but in however small a dose, it exists....My hustle may not be the same as “Sumbo the tagggzeee driver” (yeah I made up that name), but all the same I hustle, I hustled when I did NYSC (when I ‘served’), I hustle at work every day, I hustle through traffic, I hustle at airport queues, I hustle to make it to where I’m going in life. You all hustle. OBJ hustled to make it to where he is, Tinubu for sure hustled, and the guy still dey hustle, so did Otedola, Adenuga, Dangote, Jewel by Lisa, Moments with Mo (whatever her name is, Mo I guess), Kanu the football guy, D’banj, Wande Cole, and Lynxx hustled onto that pepsi ting. Pretty much everybody in our history is a hustler, apart from Goodluck, he just has good-luck (that one na another story, I won’t go into it).
The hustle may be out of circumstance or because of yearnings, but I challenge you to find a lazy (is that the opposite of a hustler?) Nigerian. Whether it is for 419 (often the case) or honest to God hard work, we are generally quite diligent, Machiavellian, resilient, and I was about to say wise but let me not take it too far, ko le to yen. But I think it is really great, it blows my mind actually when I see a huzzzler huzzzzzzling.
I honestly think that talent doesn’t get you to where you’re going in life, it may be what keeps you there, but what gets u there is HUSTLING. So if you have allowed your Nigerian hustler gene lie dormant, biko, wake it up...
Keep the “NIGERIAN HUSTLE” Alive.
DISCLAIMER: I am not promoting 419 ooooo! Please don’t go and misquote me oooooo! This my own kind of hustling is working hard to get to where you wanna be. Its like seeing an okada you want to climb, and you ‘pick race’ ‘pursue’ ‘am, make nobody else come climb ‘am before you. What i’m saying is ‘pick race’ and ‘pursue’...
Xoxo.
Because of my need to get places asap for work engagements I have developed a small habit (not voluntary of course) of taking taxis, or shall I say “climbing taggzzzee”. I’m not talking red cab, or corporate cab, or one of those aje butter type of taxi o, the real deal, yellow, furry seats with ticks most likely buried inside, cracked windows that don’t wind down or up, locks don’t work, forget AC (that is just a dream), car is so old it doesn’t have a radio, gear box almost falling off... you get the picture. I got in one of these again on Friday, this time not to get to and from a client, just cause, I needed to go home from work, my car was being serviced, it was closing time, and somehow sitting in this tagzzeee was far more attractive than milling around the office. My phone battery had died, I didn’t have a book, so it was me, my thoughts, the dusty Lagos breeze, and the tagzeee driver with his blood shot eyes . He didn’t really speak much English, just Yoruba, so I opted for my thoughts as opposed to an entire conversation in my fonetisized-yoruba...
...Watching this guy alone, made me think... He had probably been up since 3 a.m.; had his morning rice dished out from a plastic container that once perched on the head of a street side hawker (who had probably been up an hour before him, to make her wares for the morning); he had probably given his housewife with 6 or so kids a daily allowance of 500, max 1000 Naira to get the kids to school (ah I forgot GEJ and his awesome government shut those down for a month ... woops), and make his evening meal; he had probably gone to fetch water from a nearby reserve (by reserve I really mean a neighbourhood well or one of those fountain tap things (I’ve seen all sorts on my morning drives to marina) to wash his ride; he had probably (on an average Nigerian day) been in a queue to buy petrol for his daily runs; and now he was driving me from my office in VI, to some location in Ikoyi; after my drop he will probably do 15 – 30 more runs - till about 1130; he will head home to Iyano woro, or some other off endzzzzz location; he’ll eat whatever meal his wife has prepared; he will go to bed, without air conditioning, internet, dstv, a night cap, or a late night blackberry chat. That was his life, at least that’s what I imagined it to be. His life was a HUZZZZZZZZZZZZLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!! As he wiped his brow with a filthy rag that he kept in between the drivers’ seat and the passenger seat, I thought to myself, this guy represents the “Nigerian Hustle”. The Americans have their “American dream” but what we have in these ends is the “Nigerian Hustle”.
Whether you are rich or poor, privileged or unfortunate, educated or illiterate, if you are a Nigerian, you are a national born HUSTLER, or HUZZZZLER. And I don’t know about you, but I am bursting with pride at that fact. The dictionary defines a hustler as: “a shrewd or unscrupulous person who knows how to circumvent difficulties”. Life in Lagos, Nigeria as a whole may be difficult, tough, but we have already been designed to overcome the difficulties. Individual levels of ‘unscrupulousness’ and ‘shrewdness’ may vary from one man to the next, but in however small a dose, it exists....My hustle may not be the same as “Sumbo the tagggzeee driver” (yeah I made up that name), but all the same I hustle, I hustled when I did NYSC (when I ‘served’), I hustle at work every day, I hustle through traffic, I hustle at airport queues, I hustle to make it to where I’m going in life. You all hustle. OBJ hustled to make it to where he is, Tinubu for sure hustled, and the guy still dey hustle, so did Otedola, Adenuga, Dangote, Jewel by Lisa, Moments with Mo (whatever her name is, Mo I guess), Kanu the football guy, D’banj, Wande Cole, and Lynxx hustled onto that pepsi ting. Pretty much everybody in our history is a hustler, apart from Goodluck, he just has good-luck (that one na another story, I won’t go into it).
The hustle may be out of circumstance or because of yearnings, but I challenge you to find a lazy (is that the opposite of a hustler?) Nigerian. Whether it is for 419 (often the case) or honest to God hard work, we are generally quite diligent, Machiavellian, resilient, and I was about to say wise but let me not take it too far, ko le to yen. But I think it is really great, it blows my mind actually when I see a huzzzler huzzzzzzling.
I honestly think that talent doesn’t get you to where you’re going in life, it may be what keeps you there, but what gets u there is HUSTLING. So if you have allowed your Nigerian hustler gene lie dormant, biko, wake it up...
Keep the “NIGERIAN HUSTLE” Alive.
DISCLAIMER: I am not promoting 419 ooooo! Please don’t go and misquote me oooooo! This my own kind of hustling is working hard to get to where you wanna be. Its like seeing an okada you want to climb, and you ‘pick race’ ‘pursue’ ‘am, make nobody else come climb ‘am before you. What i’m saying is ‘pick race’ and ‘pursue’...
Xoxo.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Garden Variety
Garden Variety
I have recently discovered that my kryptonite is mediocrity / incompetence. Unlike Superman, I have more than one in typical mortal fashion. Anything average, standard, common, ordinary, unexceptional, it just does my head in. It irritates me, it’s like being hammered across the head in the same spot for 3 days without end. Unfortunately for me I happen to live in a city, a country that celebrates mediocrity.
“Oh Fashola fixed a road that had craters larger than those on the bomb stricken roads of Afghanistan, he is such a great governor”. Excuse me... let me not talk sha, but...
“Oh I was stopped by a police man and he didn’t greet me with “Aunty do weekend for me nah”.”
“I went to the hospital and they had a steady power supply for the 3 hours that I was ‘admitted’ there”
“Ah can you imagine I drove past a state school and it had all its windows in tact”
“Would you believe I flew in from Abuja and my flight left on time, and on top of that I now got to Lagos and the conveyor belt was working”
“I left my passport at MMA immigration desk, and when i noticed a week later, I went back and it was still there.”
“O ga o, petrol queue no dey this last few weeks” ....errr we are amongst the world’s largest oil producers
.....Sorry guys, but in case you aren’t privileged enough to know, or you have been living in Lagos sized bubble, all these things are GARDEN VARIETY.... There is nothing special, nothing good, nothing to write home about all these things, they are mediocre, they are what we are to expect as the barest minimum. I see NO reason why we should celebrate them. I really don’t.
Garden Variety Politicians: Your state governor (no names, no states) may be way ahead of the curve when compared with other states, because he is delivering 15%. However he is responsible for every person that dies in a public hospital, or on a state road, or due to a fire ambulance not arriving on time, or to an electrical fault, or for every child that goes without an education becomes an armed robber and meets an untimely death... and when you put it like that that makes him no more than a serial killer. I’ll give credit where credit is due, but I think we need to start stretching our expectations of our politicians, and demanding for what is constitutionally our right!!!! If the Governor only wanted to deliver 15% he should have taken a job as an office secretary.
Garden Variety Security Officers: If you are wearing one of those hideous black uniforms, it is actually your job to ensure that the rest of the population are secure from antisocial behaviour, acts of terrorism, road traffic offences, and so on (actually embarrassed I just used that phrase – and so on). I will not celebrate you, if you stop me ask for “my particulars” and neglect to ask me for sonme Azikiwe’s (Naira notes, like Benjamins – u get?). If you want to beg, there are tons of plastic eva bottles floating around the Lagoon, help yourself to one, get some fairy (what’s the Nigerian version sunlight soap or something) and join the crop of people that are washing cars on Akin Adesola.
Garden Variety Educational System: I think I am being very very kind here, because Garden Variety is quite generous. Our educational system is beyond useless, the teachers cannot pass the tests that they set the students. This is just not acceptable, why should anybody accept this. Education is the bedrock of society, if this fails (which it has), everything thing else will fail (which it has)
Garden Variety Healthcare: Again, very generous. Hospitals are constantly on strike, other state hospitals are making cutting edge medical discoveries, mean whilst we are jumping for joy at the fact NEPA didn’t take light during an operation.
I’m not putting Naija on blast here, but it troubles me deeply that we are so blinded by the mediocre, that we can’t even see we need to expect more and demand more. What we celebrate is quite frankly not worth celebration, and we are hindering national growth by accepting the mediocre we have as the best we’re gonna get.
I promise my next few posts will be more light hearted than these last few with political undertones, but I think it is important to realise that we all have a part to play in the development of Nigeria, and what better time to say it than the run up to voters’ registration. Your vote gives you a voice, without a voice your expectations are impotent.
Xoxo.
I have recently discovered that my kryptonite is mediocrity / incompetence. Unlike Superman, I have more than one in typical mortal fashion. Anything average, standard, common, ordinary, unexceptional, it just does my head in. It irritates me, it’s like being hammered across the head in the same spot for 3 days without end. Unfortunately for me I happen to live in a city, a country that celebrates mediocrity.
“Oh Fashola fixed a road that had craters larger than those on the bomb stricken roads of Afghanistan, he is such a great governor”. Excuse me... let me not talk sha, but...
“Oh I was stopped by a police man and he didn’t greet me with “Aunty do weekend for me nah”.”
“I went to the hospital and they had a steady power supply for the 3 hours that I was ‘admitted’ there”
“Ah can you imagine I drove past a state school and it had all its windows in tact”
“Would you believe I flew in from Abuja and my flight left on time, and on top of that I now got to Lagos and the conveyor belt was working”
“I left my passport at MMA immigration desk, and when i noticed a week later, I went back and it was still there.”
“O ga o, petrol queue no dey this last few weeks” ....errr we are amongst the world’s largest oil producers
.....Sorry guys, but in case you aren’t privileged enough to know, or you have been living in Lagos sized bubble, all these things are GARDEN VARIETY.... There is nothing special, nothing good, nothing to write home about all these things, they are mediocre, they are what we are to expect as the barest minimum. I see NO reason why we should celebrate them. I really don’t.
Garden Variety Politicians: Your state governor (no names, no states) may be way ahead of the curve when compared with other states, because he is delivering 15%. However he is responsible for every person that dies in a public hospital, or on a state road, or due to a fire ambulance not arriving on time, or to an electrical fault, or for every child that goes without an education becomes an armed robber and meets an untimely death... and when you put it like that that makes him no more than a serial killer. I’ll give credit where credit is due, but I think we need to start stretching our expectations of our politicians, and demanding for what is constitutionally our right!!!! If the Governor only wanted to deliver 15% he should have taken a job as an office secretary.
Garden Variety Security Officers: If you are wearing one of those hideous black uniforms, it is actually your job to ensure that the rest of the population are secure from antisocial behaviour, acts of terrorism, road traffic offences, and so on (actually embarrassed I just used that phrase – and so on). I will not celebrate you, if you stop me ask for “my particulars” and neglect to ask me for sonme Azikiwe’s (Naira notes, like Benjamins – u get?). If you want to beg, there are tons of plastic eva bottles floating around the Lagoon, help yourself to one, get some fairy (what’s the Nigerian version sunlight soap or something) and join the crop of people that are washing cars on Akin Adesola.
Garden Variety Educational System: I think I am being very very kind here, because Garden Variety is quite generous. Our educational system is beyond useless, the teachers cannot pass the tests that they set the students. This is just not acceptable, why should anybody accept this. Education is the bedrock of society, if this fails (which it has), everything thing else will fail (which it has)
Garden Variety Healthcare: Again, very generous. Hospitals are constantly on strike, other state hospitals are making cutting edge medical discoveries, mean whilst we are jumping for joy at the fact NEPA didn’t take light during an operation.
I’m not putting Naija on blast here, but it troubles me deeply that we are so blinded by the mediocre, that we can’t even see we need to expect more and demand more. What we celebrate is quite frankly not worth celebration, and we are hindering national growth by accepting the mediocre we have as the best we’re gonna get.
I promise my next few posts will be more light hearted than these last few with political undertones, but I think it is important to realise that we all have a part to play in the development of Nigeria, and what better time to say it than the run up to voters’ registration. Your vote gives you a voice, without a voice your expectations are impotent.
Xoxo.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Who is drinking your Kool-Aid???
"What's the difference between pure water and Eva (notice I didn't say Ashton Wells)"?????? The packaging! Inside all na water! The same goes for life in Lagos, it's all about how you package yourself! I don't mean just physically here, I mean (I don't know the English), but I mean your brand, who you are, who you want to be, who you want people to see you as, the kind of people you want to be associated with (islanders, mainlanders), the kind of places you are associated with (Skye lounge, Mr. Biggs) the quality of your product (you, your attributes, old money, new money, no money, funny, boring, brazilian, synthetic, out going, prude, kind, harsh, tall, short, fat, slim, beautiful, beautiful after 3 hours of make up, intelligent, thicker than 2 short planks, etc. etc.). It's all about the colour of the wrapping paper you are covered in!
Over the last couple of years that I've lived in Lagos, I've watched and studied people, and i find it very remarkable how a "neighbourhood chick / guy", suddenly has everybody drinking his / her Kool-Aid This is an ART!! The greatest art form of all time! Some call them social climbers, but I'll stick with senior executive brand consultant! I took this art for granted, you know, you eventually just take people for who they sell themselves as. But here is the breaking news for those who have filled themselves up on Kool-Aid (cherry, blackcurrant, orishi rish flavours) perception is reality, but perception isn't real! (I'll break that down, it's been a long day at work I know -- what you perceive a person to be is the reality to you, but your perception isn't necessarily the real them).
Nigerians sabi chop branding, we are the most materialistic and fickle bunch if people on earth. Nobody cares to find out what the content is, as long as the packaging is nice, everything else na just extras, bonus, jara, awoof!
*As long as your dropping your kids off at school in a Porsche it doesn't matter if you haven't actually paid their school fees for 2 terms
*As long as you feature in style magazine every Sunday doesn't matter who "borrowed u" the dress u wore to snap the photo
*As long as you are drinking Ace of spades it doesn't matter if it's "i owe u" wey you take pay after everybody leave finish
*As long as you speak the Queens it doesn't matter what "learn English in 2 weeks" tape you've been listening too
*As long as your "ile mi hire" is all did up, doesn't matter if all na tokunbo, bend down, second hand..... Oh pardon me, I mean vintaggggge
*As long as your wardrobe is S/S 11, from the shoes, to the pants to the bra, it doesn't matter who your *Chairman* is
*As long as you're always full of life and energy it doesn't matter how long you're standing in the line for the bathroom
I guess i just feel like if we focus all of our energy on being ourselves, uninhibited, real, down to earth, people would love us more than the Madame Tussaudes version of us - stiff as wax, lifeless, and just FAKE sha
It would be quite hypocritical of me to say all this and be trying to sell my own guava Kool-Aid to you. I think I am as real as I can be: I talk a lot, a lot of rubbish at that, I moan constantly, I am very needy, I am overbearing, i am random, I love to watch period dramas and cartoons, i cant spell to save my life...but that's me, no point in hiding it, and I think some people love me (I hope, I may be deluded ...at least my 'rents love me sha).
However if you aren't such a great person, whichever way you slice it, then errr I don't mind offering my services as your brand consultant ;-)
Xoxo
Over the last couple of years that I've lived in Lagos, I've watched and studied people, and i find it very remarkable how a "neighbourhood chick / guy", suddenly has everybody drinking his / her Kool-Aid This is an ART!! The greatest art form of all time! Some call them social climbers, but I'll stick with senior executive brand consultant! I took this art for granted, you know, you eventually just take people for who they sell themselves as. But here is the breaking news for those who have filled themselves up on Kool-Aid (cherry, blackcurrant, orishi rish flavours) perception is reality, but perception isn't real! (I'll break that down, it's been a long day at work I know -- what you perceive a person to be is the reality to you, but your perception isn't necessarily the real them).
Nigerians sabi chop branding, we are the most materialistic and fickle bunch if people on earth. Nobody cares to find out what the content is, as long as the packaging is nice, everything else na just extras, bonus, jara, awoof!
*As long as your dropping your kids off at school in a Porsche it doesn't matter if you haven't actually paid their school fees for 2 terms
*As long as you feature in style magazine every Sunday doesn't matter who "borrowed u" the dress u wore to snap the photo
*As long as you are drinking Ace of spades it doesn't matter if it's "i owe u" wey you take pay after everybody leave finish
*As long as you speak the Queens it doesn't matter what "learn English in 2 weeks" tape you've been listening too
*As long as your "ile mi hire" is all did up, doesn't matter if all na tokunbo, bend down, second hand..... Oh pardon me, I mean vintaggggge
*As long as your wardrobe is S/S 11, from the shoes, to the pants to the bra, it doesn't matter who your *Chairman* is
*As long as you're always full of life and energy it doesn't matter how long you're standing in the line for the bathroom
I guess i just feel like if we focus all of our energy on being ourselves, uninhibited, real, down to earth, people would love us more than the Madame Tussaudes version of us - stiff as wax, lifeless, and just FAKE sha
It would be quite hypocritical of me to say all this and be trying to sell my own guava Kool-Aid to you. I think I am as real as I can be: I talk a lot, a lot of rubbish at that, I moan constantly, I am very needy, I am overbearing, i am random, I love to watch period dramas and cartoons, i cant spell to save my life...but that's me, no point in hiding it, and I think some people love me (I hope, I may be deluded ...at least my 'rents love me sha).
However if you aren't such a great person, whichever way you slice it, then errr I don't mind offering my services as your brand consultant ;-)
Xoxo
Sunday, January 9, 2011
7 Deadly Sins
Mahatma Gandhi said that seven things will destroy us:
*wealth without work
*pleasure without conscience
*knowledge without character
*commerce without morality (I want to rephrase this one - business without ethics)
*science without humanity
*worship without sacrifice (or religion without sacrifice)
*politics without principles
I don't know about anybody else o, but when I read this a while back, it just screamed NIGERIA NIGERIA NIGERIA!!!!!! All the 7 deadly sins are upon us!
Wealth without work. The last decade has been marked with people rising from odogbolu (may be a fictional place, I dunno) to lekki phase one, the decade of climbing into range rovers, the decade of kids that don't know what the air in business class smells like, as all they know is first class, the decade of the G6. where this money came from we dont know but all we know is that they have ARRIVED! And we will join them to enjoy, we go collect our own awoof. Me too i go collect Range Rover 2011 Evoque if somebody fit dash me!
Pleasure without conscience. Every Nigerian has a PhD in Gbedu Sciences. We do what we want, when we want, because we can, and because we can afford it, whatever the consequences. In the words of my man Kanye "I was drinking earlier, now I'm driving", foolish, foolish behaviour
Knowledge without character. Knowledge without wisdom. Most of us can boast of having the best educations that money can buy, Cambridge, Harvard, Stanford you name it, a ti de be, we get their paper, certificate, but we lack the wisdom to apply the knowledge we have accrued.
Business without Ethics. If you are running, or working in an organisation with good ethics, then congratulations to you, you are prob the only one. Bribery, corruption, perception management, sexual harassment, corner corner, zero integrity, everything is rife in our society.
Science without humanity. Ok this not so much. But we're getting there. Our hospitals are so degraded, I have heard countless stories about people bleeding to death after shoddy child births, being rushed from hospital to hospital only to meet strikes, and an untimely death.
Worship without sacrifice. Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Catholic, Babalawo, Nigerians expect something for nothing. In the days of Abraham, and all the bible folk, they sacrificed sheep and goat, but all God asks in the 21st century is a sacrifice of righteousness in return for the mansion in banana, the bentley, the gucci, fendi and prada that we badger him about in prayer. But for us its want want want want, and we don't have anything to give!
Politics without principles. I don't want them to send anybody to my house. I will leave this one to your imaginations! let me fuel it small sha, missing ballot boxes, closed schools for a month for elections, copious deaths from road accidents, taxes spent on God alone knows what, state fund allocations going missing, rows of PJ's parked at MMA, no infrastructure....
My point being that we are fast heading to destruction, like a car travelling a hundred miles per hour and a tyre suddenly bursts, sending the car spinning out of control, with no direction. Such is the state of every facet of our society, education, healthcare, infrastructure, family, religion, local government, commerce, security, everything spinning out of control without direction, we have no visionaries, our ship has no destined port.
I won't blame this on our government, I blame it on us, you, me... As Joseph Marie de Maistre said, "Every nation has the government it deserves". We deserve the government we have now, we deserve the government we will inherit after the 2011 elections, if we do nothing about it. What we need is radical change, and we as Nigerians have to take it by FORCE. I'm not saying that we should go onto the streets and protest, begin dey throw bottles for ground, but we need to protest, and take Nigeria back from the clutches of destruction. If not for yourselves, so that your children (whenever u have them) will not curse their parents' generation for leaving them a charade for a country.
Xoxo
*wealth without work
*pleasure without conscience
*knowledge without character
*commerce without morality (I want to rephrase this one - business without ethics)
*science without humanity
*worship without sacrifice (or religion without sacrifice)
*politics without principles
I don't know about anybody else o, but when I read this a while back, it just screamed NIGERIA NIGERIA NIGERIA!!!!!! All the 7 deadly sins are upon us!
Wealth without work. The last decade has been marked with people rising from odogbolu (may be a fictional place, I dunno) to lekki phase one, the decade of climbing into range rovers, the decade of kids that don't know what the air in business class smells like, as all they know is first class, the decade of the G6. where this money came from we dont know but all we know is that they have ARRIVED! And we will join them to enjoy, we go collect our own awoof. Me too i go collect Range Rover 2011 Evoque if somebody fit dash me!
Pleasure without conscience. Every Nigerian has a PhD in Gbedu Sciences. We do what we want, when we want, because we can, and because we can afford it, whatever the consequences. In the words of my man Kanye "I was drinking earlier, now I'm driving", foolish, foolish behaviour
Knowledge without character. Knowledge without wisdom. Most of us can boast of having the best educations that money can buy, Cambridge, Harvard, Stanford you name it, a ti de be, we get their paper, certificate, but we lack the wisdom to apply the knowledge we have accrued.
Business without Ethics. If you are running, or working in an organisation with good ethics, then congratulations to you, you are prob the only one. Bribery, corruption, perception management, sexual harassment, corner corner, zero integrity, everything is rife in our society.
Science without humanity. Ok this not so much. But we're getting there. Our hospitals are so degraded, I have heard countless stories about people bleeding to death after shoddy child births, being rushed from hospital to hospital only to meet strikes, and an untimely death.
Worship without sacrifice. Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Catholic, Babalawo, Nigerians expect something for nothing. In the days of Abraham, and all the bible folk, they sacrificed sheep and goat, but all God asks in the 21st century is a sacrifice of righteousness in return for the mansion in banana, the bentley, the gucci, fendi and prada that we badger him about in prayer. But for us its want want want want, and we don't have anything to give!
Politics without principles. I don't want them to send anybody to my house. I will leave this one to your imaginations! let me fuel it small sha, missing ballot boxes, closed schools for a month for elections, copious deaths from road accidents, taxes spent on God alone knows what, state fund allocations going missing, rows of PJ's parked at MMA, no infrastructure....
My point being that we are fast heading to destruction, like a car travelling a hundred miles per hour and a tyre suddenly bursts, sending the car spinning out of control, with no direction. Such is the state of every facet of our society, education, healthcare, infrastructure, family, religion, local government, commerce, security, everything spinning out of control without direction, we have no visionaries, our ship has no destined port.
I won't blame this on our government, I blame it on us, you, me... As Joseph Marie de Maistre said, "Every nation has the government it deserves". We deserve the government we have now, we deserve the government we will inherit after the 2011 elections, if we do nothing about it. What we need is radical change, and we as Nigerians have to take it by FORCE. I'm not saying that we should go onto the streets and protest, begin dey throw bottles for ground, but we need to protest, and take Nigeria back from the clutches of destruction. If not for yourselves, so that your children (whenever u have them) will not curse their parents' generation for leaving them a charade for a country.
Xoxo
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Back To Work
The first working day after the Christmas break is akin to how we used to feel when we were 10 and heading back to School after a long and awesome summer. We cant imagine how it is physically possible to get out of bed at 6 o’clock, All that brain work is far too much after 2 weeks of straight chilling, and now for us local Nigerians, the added frustration of having to re adjust to speaking Nigerianese, the Nigerian office culture, all the female colleagues on a diet of hater-ade, male colleagues on a power trip, and just general unnecessary behavior.
Admittedly this is a very old one, but my friend “G” asked if I would re-post it with additions, and I thought it would be a great way to get back into the work groove… (Note: It was written a while ago, and the writing is very poor, but I think the message is clear enough so I haven’t edited. If you have read it before jump down a few, for the additions)
Things Nigerians should not say or do:
*HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT????????????????? -- None of your business
* Where do you stay? -- Nowhere near you, no you cannot come and visit, please go back to your desk and don’t try to make conversation with me
* Well Done -- errrr for doing what? Yes I know its a literal translation of Yoruba, but in English it sounds stupid, and it is NOT a greeting just say hello, not well done, for all you know I could be planning to bomb your office and your saying well done
* Are you aware? -- yes I am aware, my hair sticks up sometimes, i may have missed a belt loop, my shirt may not be properly tucked in, a button may be undone, but why the hell are you looking anyway, face your work so that we can leave the office before midnight
* How is work? -- same as it was yesterday, boring, damn monotonous, and I’m fantasising of strangling all my co-workers with a telephone cord, plus face your work not mine, poke nose!
* SHE IS NOT ON SEAT – don’t even know where to start with this one, just do NOT say it, it means nothing.
* I came to find you, I did not meet you, I met your absence -- who the on earth is 'my absence', don’t know who she is, she aint as cool as me, I know that. How's about you just tell me I came looking for you and you weren’t there... is that so hard why do you have to bring this fictional character 'my absence' into anything
* the use of a million negatives in place of just the necessary ONE, for example "there is a lack, of no, any, enough information" -- really half that sentence is daft.
* repeating everything I say -- I said it, yes I remember, you don’t have to repeat after me we are not in primary school trying to learn the alphabet.
* "yes, yes, ermmm my name is XXXX XXXXXX (some razzz name sha) and I’m in x department, ***personal history*** -- I DO NOT CARE TO "know you" just get to the point ask your question, let me answer, drop the phone and let me have PEACE OF MIND
* I have ERRONEOUSLY... -- its ok to say you made a mistake, don’t try making it sound cool by using big words, I went to school too, I have a dictionary, I know what it means, and mistakenly is a far better word to use than ERRONEOUSLY.
* feeeeeeeeeeeeeenance -- its finance love, just as its spelt, like me to pronounce it phonetically for you, FAHY-NANS..ODE
*Fake, God alone knows what accents -- you sound like a constipated monkey that has been chained up and is being proded with a stick, just speak how you know how to...gosh
* Good day -- this somehow irritates me. Not half as bad as the rest, but it does my nut. I prefer other greetings to be honest. hi, hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, not good day, it kinda sounds like a play or something.
* The INTERNATIONAL business language is ENGLISH -- why speak in yoruba, igbo, or hausa in an office, please speak English its rude to do otherwise.
*The Spanish Inquisition -- I have enough friends, I don’t really need to make more, well not with you anyway, don’t enquire about my life please. DMC's are not for the workplace
*I prefer Ariel to BOLD – The average Nigerian believes there is no reason they cannot tell you anything. They are just BOLD. “You’re looking very ugly today o, you’re not looking fresh at all”, “You have really ADEDD” (added means you have put on weight btw.)… I don’t know why as Nigerians we put down ill manners to “our culture” … its not our culture to be rude, please don’t pass any inappropriate comments to me, I may clap you.
*Cleaning your ears with your pen or car keys - I have seen this being done by drivers, okada riders, molue bus conductors, but I NEVER in my life thought I would see a university graduate do this … alas life is full of surprises. Managers pushing Range Rovers, and 7 series’ are guilty of this crime, pulling off their glasses cleaning their ears, wiping it on their fingers and getting back to their work. I think I may well vom all over my laptop if I have to witness this again
*I am not surprised to see a rat casually stroll across he office floor. However I cannot stand it when I am accused of being an “aje butter” for screaming and jumping on the desk, when the so called “aje pakos” will do the very same thing if the rat came that close to them – just not a good look. Remove the rod in your eye before the spec in mine
*Forming busy – This is every Nigerian persons key competency. Why Why Why will you spend 8 till 5 stalking people on facebook (if they were really your mates give them a ding after work and they’ll fill u in), then forcing everyone else to stay in work with you till 11. Its inefficient really isn’t it, and your working yourself into an early grave. I want to have kids, and grand-kids, I’m not on that one with you. Perception management, being seen to be working “hard” is not necessarily working smart.
*Posting – If you don’t know how to / don’t want to / cant be arsed to do something for me, don’t tell me you will, and I should just “check you” later. This is completely unfair to give somebody hope when you know you are just going to disappoint them.
*Accept Incompetence – Though I am your junior, if I can do something better than you, please accept it and ask for help, do not send me on a wild goose chase to prove a point that you know something you don’t, we all get to go home earlier that way.
Try not to kill anyone in the weeks and months of work to come!! Focus on making that paper, it'll be worth it when you retire well!
xoxo.
Admittedly this is a very old one, but my friend “G” asked if I would re-post it with additions, and I thought it would be a great way to get back into the work groove… (Note: It was written a while ago, and the writing is very poor, but I think the message is clear enough so I haven’t edited. If you have read it before jump down a few, for the additions)
Things Nigerians should not say or do:
*HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT????????????????? -- None of your business
* Where do you stay? -- Nowhere near you, no you cannot come and visit, please go back to your desk and don’t try to make conversation with me
* Well Done -- errrr for doing what? Yes I know its a literal translation of Yoruba, but in English it sounds stupid, and it is NOT a greeting just say hello, not well done, for all you know I could be planning to bomb your office and your saying well done
* Are you aware? -- yes I am aware, my hair sticks up sometimes, i may have missed a belt loop, my shirt may not be properly tucked in, a button may be undone, but why the hell are you looking anyway, face your work so that we can leave the office before midnight
* How is work? -- same as it was yesterday, boring, damn monotonous, and I’m fantasising of strangling all my co-workers with a telephone cord, plus face your work not mine, poke nose!
* SHE IS NOT ON SEAT – don’t even know where to start with this one, just do NOT say it, it means nothing.
* I came to find you, I did not meet you, I met your absence -- who the on earth is 'my absence', don’t know who she is, she aint as cool as me, I know that. How's about you just tell me I came looking for you and you weren’t there... is that so hard why do you have to bring this fictional character 'my absence' into anything
* the use of a million negatives in place of just the necessary ONE, for example "there is a lack, of no, any, enough information" -- really half that sentence is daft.
* repeating everything I say -- I said it, yes I remember, you don’t have to repeat after me we are not in primary school trying to learn the alphabet.
* "yes, yes, ermmm my name is XXXX XXXXXX (some razzz name sha) and I’m in x department, ***personal history*** -- I DO NOT CARE TO "know you" just get to the point ask your question, let me answer, drop the phone and let me have PEACE OF MIND
* I have ERRONEOUSLY... -- its ok to say you made a mistake, don’t try making it sound cool by using big words, I went to school too, I have a dictionary, I know what it means, and mistakenly is a far better word to use than ERRONEOUSLY.
* feeeeeeeeeeeeeenance -- its finance love, just as its spelt, like me to pronounce it phonetically for you, FAHY-NANS..ODE
*Fake, God alone knows what accents -- you sound like a constipated monkey that has been chained up and is being proded with a stick, just speak how you know how to...gosh
* Good day -- this somehow irritates me. Not half as bad as the rest, but it does my nut. I prefer other greetings to be honest. hi, hello, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, not good day, it kinda sounds like a play or something.
* The INTERNATIONAL business language is ENGLISH -- why speak in yoruba, igbo, or hausa in an office, please speak English its rude to do otherwise.
*The Spanish Inquisition -- I have enough friends, I don’t really need to make more, well not with you anyway, don’t enquire about my life please. DMC's are not for the workplace
*I prefer Ariel to BOLD – The average Nigerian believes there is no reason they cannot tell you anything. They are just BOLD. “You’re looking very ugly today o, you’re not looking fresh at all”, “You have really ADEDD” (added means you have put on weight btw.)… I don’t know why as Nigerians we put down ill manners to “our culture” … its not our culture to be rude, please don’t pass any inappropriate comments to me, I may clap you.
*Cleaning your ears with your pen or car keys - I have seen this being done by drivers, okada riders, molue bus conductors, but I NEVER in my life thought I would see a university graduate do this … alas life is full of surprises. Managers pushing Range Rovers, and 7 series’ are guilty of this crime, pulling off their glasses cleaning their ears, wiping it on their fingers and getting back to their work. I think I may well vom all over my laptop if I have to witness this again
*I am not surprised to see a rat casually stroll across he office floor. However I cannot stand it when I am accused of being an “aje butter” for screaming and jumping on the desk, when the so called “aje pakos” will do the very same thing if the rat came that close to them – just not a good look. Remove the rod in your eye before the spec in mine
*Forming busy – This is every Nigerian persons key competency. Why Why Why will you spend 8 till 5 stalking people on facebook (if they were really your mates give them a ding after work and they’ll fill u in), then forcing everyone else to stay in work with you till 11. Its inefficient really isn’t it, and your working yourself into an early grave. I want to have kids, and grand-kids, I’m not on that one with you. Perception management, being seen to be working “hard” is not necessarily working smart.
*Posting – If you don’t know how to / don’t want to / cant be arsed to do something for me, don’t tell me you will, and I should just “check you” later. This is completely unfair to give somebody hope when you know you are just going to disappoint them.
*Accept Incompetence – Though I am your junior, if I can do something better than you, please accept it and ask for help, do not send me on a wild goose chase to prove a point that you know something you don’t, we all get to go home earlier that way.
Try not to kill anyone in the weeks and months of work to come!! Focus on making that paper, it'll be worth it when you retire well!
xoxo.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Genesis 1.1.11 *Verse 1. Chapter1. Volume 11*
I thought long and hard on what to write, not because I am short of things to write, but just because I have too much to write, so much going on in my head, emotions clouding certain topics, trains of thought that have parked themselves at certain mental stations and are not due to move for some time... So I thought to be safe.... Why not talk about the dawn of a new year, the opportunity to refocus, reinvent, a new chapter in the book of everyones life, the idea of Genesis in general, quite apt for the first day of the year I think.
01.01, The climax of the festive season, after all the mince pies, mulled wine, mistletoe, santas vomit at falomo roundabout (aka Christmas decorations, honestly what was elizabeth r thinking, if we wanted to know what it'd look like if santa vommed down the side of his sleigh we would've asked), fireworks, their local cousins bangers and knock out, carol services, tourists, fake accents, big weaves, champagne, ballin', shot callin', charity events, gift giving, gift receiving...It's all done, and now we have to think about making 2011's paper, analyse and evaluate 2010.
Every year end I try to de-clutter my life before I step into the new year. Release all the bad blood I have with anyone, de-clutter my room, refocus my life to better align with my goals, etc etc. Every year I fail. I never do any of those things. I enter the new year with the same enemies (I don't have enemies sha, I lurve everybody), my bedroom looks like "a drunk baby lion was let lose in it", I procrastinate about doing what I know I was built to do.....
....Why??????? The answer, quite simply put, though you are starting a new chapter, the other chapters are still part of the book.
In January I cried
In February I rebuilt
In March I redefined
In April I gave
In May I don't remember (probably not a good sign)
In June I smiled
In July I discovered
In August I laughed
In September I loved
In October I thought
In November I grew
In December I learnt
... And throughout the year I created memories.
The truth is that I didn't necessarily have an awesome, all great moments, stuff of fairytales, plenty jolofment year, but all the ups and all the downs of 2010 are still in my book, the pains, the joys, the frustrations, the successes, the failures, the disappointments, the what ifs, the why nots, the if only's, they have all built my character. Though today marks the genesis of 2011, I want to refocus, reengineer, start afresh, begin again, try something new, walk away from the past... but instead I will get back in the saddle, with the battle wounds, gold stars, and chest pins of 2010 and create an even better 2011.
I wish everyone a Happy New Year, and at the risk of my advice going "the way of the clog" ...in 2011 laugh till you cry, live like there is no tomorrow, love hard, make sure the people you love know you love them, cry, smile, give, and be grateful!
Xoxo
#serious-post (ma binu)
01.01, The climax of the festive season, after all the mince pies, mulled wine, mistletoe, santas vomit at falomo roundabout (aka Christmas decorations, honestly what was elizabeth r thinking, if we wanted to know what it'd look like if santa vommed down the side of his sleigh we would've asked), fireworks, their local cousins bangers and knock out, carol services, tourists, fake accents, big weaves, champagne, ballin', shot callin', charity events, gift giving, gift receiving...It's all done, and now we have to think about making 2011's paper, analyse and evaluate 2010.
Every year end I try to de-clutter my life before I step into the new year. Release all the bad blood I have with anyone, de-clutter my room, refocus my life to better align with my goals, etc etc. Every year I fail. I never do any of those things. I enter the new year with the same enemies (I don't have enemies sha, I lurve everybody), my bedroom looks like "a drunk baby lion was let lose in it", I procrastinate about doing what I know I was built to do.....
....Why??????? The answer, quite simply put, though you are starting a new chapter, the other chapters are still part of the book.
In January I cried
In February I rebuilt
In March I redefined
In April I gave
In May I don't remember (probably not a good sign)
In June I smiled
In July I discovered
In August I laughed
In September I loved
In October I thought
In November I grew
In December I learnt
... And throughout the year I created memories.
The truth is that I didn't necessarily have an awesome, all great moments, stuff of fairytales, plenty jolofment year, but all the ups and all the downs of 2010 are still in my book, the pains, the joys, the frustrations, the successes, the failures, the disappointments, the what ifs, the why nots, the if only's, they have all built my character. Though today marks the genesis of 2011, I want to refocus, reengineer, start afresh, begin again, try something new, walk away from the past... but instead I will get back in the saddle, with the battle wounds, gold stars, and chest pins of 2010 and create an even better 2011.
I wish everyone a Happy New Year, and at the risk of my advice going "the way of the clog" ...in 2011 laugh till you cry, live like there is no tomorrow, love hard, make sure the people you love know you love them, cry, smile, give, and be grateful!
Xoxo
#serious-post (ma binu)
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