The Nigerian Hustle

The Nigerian Hustle. Hard coded. Genetically predefined. Programmed. Whether you have just one drop of Nigerian blood, or your only claim to an exotic line, is that your uncle (by marriage) had a great grandfather that was from one remote village on the backside of Nassarawa. If you have that Nigerian blood, you have that “Nigerian hustle”. Full stop. Some tribes / ethnic groups more than others, I won’t mention any names o, but our “wheeler / dealer” brothers sabi hustle more than my own “owambe” party throwing people. But we all hustle.

Because of my need to get places asap for work engagements I have developed a small habit (not voluntary of course) of taking taxis, or shall I say “climbing taggzzzee”. I’m not talking red cab, or corporate cab, or one of those aje butter type of taxi o, the real deal, yellow, furry seats with ticks most likely buried inside, cracked windows that don’t wind down or up, locks don’t work, forget AC (that is just a dream), car is so old it doesn’t have a radio, gear box almost falling off... you get the picture. I got in one of these again on Friday, this time not to get to and from a client, just cause, I needed to go home from work, my car was being serviced, it was closing time, and somehow sitting in this tagzzeee was far more attractive than milling around the office. My phone battery had died, I didn’t have a book, so it was me, my thoughts, the dusty Lagos breeze, and the tagzeee driver with his blood shot eyes . He didn’t really speak much English, just Yoruba, so I opted for my thoughts as opposed to an entire conversation in my fonetisized-yoruba...

...Watching this guy alone, made me think... He had probably been up since 3 a.m.; had his morning rice dished out from a plastic container that once perched on the head of a street side hawker (who had probably been up an hour before him, to make her wares for the morning); he had probably given his housewife with 6 or so kids a daily allowance of 500, max 1000 Naira to get the kids to school (ah I forgot GEJ and his awesome government shut those down for a month ... woops), and make his evening meal; he had probably gone to fetch water from a nearby reserve (by reserve I really mean a neighbourhood well or one of those fountain tap things (I’ve seen all sorts on my morning drives to marina) to wash his ride; he had probably (on an average Nigerian day) been in a queue to buy petrol for his daily runs; and now he was driving me from my office in VI, to some location in Ikoyi; after my drop he will probably do 15 – 30 more runs - till about 1130; he will head home to Iyano woro, or some other off endzzzzz location; he’ll eat whatever meal his wife has prepared; he will go to bed, without air conditioning, internet, dstv, a night cap, or a late night blackberry chat. That was his life, at least that’s what I imagined it to be. His life was a HUZZZZZZZZZZZZLLLLEEEEEEEE!!!! As he wiped his brow with a filthy rag that he kept in between the drivers’ seat and the passenger seat, I thought to myself, this guy represents the “Nigerian Hustle”. The Americans have their “American dream” but what we have in these ends is the “Nigerian Hustle”.

Whether you are rich or poor, privileged or unfortunate, educated or illiterate, if you are a Nigerian, you are a national born HUSTLER, or HUZZZZLER. And I don’t know about you, but I am bursting with pride at that fact. The dictionary defines a hustler as: “a shrewd or unscrupulous person who knows how to circumvent difficulties”. Life in Lagos, Nigeria as a whole may be difficult, tough, but we have already been designed to overcome the difficulties. Individual levels of ‘unscrupulousness’ and ‘shrewdness’ may vary from one man to the next, but in however small a dose, it exists....My hustle may not be the same as “Sumbo the tagggzeee driver” (yeah I made up that name), but all the same I hustle, I hustled when I did NYSC (when I ‘served’), I hustle at work every day, I hustle through traffic, I hustle at airport queues, I hustle to make it to where I’m going in life. You all hustle. OBJ hustled to make it to where he is, Tinubu for sure hustled, and the guy still dey hustle, so did Otedola, Adenuga, Dangote, Jewel by Lisa, Moments with Mo (whatever her name is, Mo I guess), Kanu the football guy, D’banj, Wande Cole, and Lynxx hustled onto that pepsi ting. Pretty much everybody in our history is a hustler, apart from Goodluck, he just has good-luck (that one na another story, I won’t go into it).

The hustle may be out of circumstance or because of yearnings, but I challenge you to find a lazy (is that the opposite of a hustler?) Nigerian. Whether it is for 419 (often the case) or honest to God hard work, we are generally quite diligent, Machiavellian, resilient, and I was about to say wise but let me not take it too far, ko le to yen. But I think it is really great, it blows my mind actually when I see a huzzzler huzzzzzzling.

I honestly think that talent doesn’t get you to where you’re going in life, it may be what keeps you there, but what gets u there is HUSTLING. So if you have allowed your Nigerian hustler gene lie dormant, biko, wake it up...

Keep the “NIGERIAN HUSTLE” Alive.

DISCLAIMER: I am not promoting 419 ooooo! Please don’t go and misquote me oooooo! This my own kind of hustling is working hard to get to where you wanna be. Its like seeing an okada you want to climb, and you ‘pick race’ ‘pursue’ ‘am, make nobody else come climb ‘am before you. What i’m saying is ‘pick race’ and ‘pursue’...

Xoxo.